The Christian the Christian blog received it's first award over the weekend! It is... the "Lemonade Award."
It was given by a new reader of mine, Gracie (whose blog, I also now follow). To be honest I'm not sure what it means exactly (though the award page on her blog states that it is awarded to a blog "that shows great attitude or gratitude" and that it should be passed on).
Maybe it means the C2 blog is freshly squeezed and good for daily consumption? Or that it is sweet, cool and refreshing? Or that it is available to all... just like a kid's lemonade stand all summer long? Or that it is a perfect blending of ingredients that makes a grand, delicious treat for all? Or maybe I'm just having too much fun trying to figure it out....
Regardless, I am humbled and honored beyond words!!!!!
Gracie, thank you for awarding me/the blog with this award. Though we've never met, I want you to know I appreciate you taking the time to honor the blog in this way. Thank you also for your blog... I look forward to visiting it regularly and joining with you in praying for families, friends and other endeavors as God lays them on our (and our friends/families) hearts.
Kermit the Frog was right when he sang “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”
Let’s clear something up… in the beginning (yes, that “beginning” – namely when God created the world) God charged man with the responsibility of caring for Creation and leading it. This is comprised of, but not limited to: animals, fish of the sea, birds and such of the air, plants and earth, water and other people. It seems, however (thanks to the political agenda attached to “being green”) that conservative Christians, in particular, are opposed to anything green or eco-friendly.
To My Dear Brothers and Sisters of Christ...
Stop saying “it’s important that we care for the environment…” while in the same breath saying “I’m sick of all this global warming nonsense…” or “it’s political propaganda…” and then showing how much you really “care” by doing nothing. It’s as if recycling automatically makes you Al Gore’s henchman. Regardless of whether or not the earth is warming (I, for one, do not think it is anymore than it was cooling in the 60’s-70’s), I think we as believers ought to put our actions, time and words where our mouth is. Christians are Missing Out
Christians are so busy trying to avoid a label or association with “bleeding-heart liberals” that (in pride) they lose sight of the BIG picture. God called on us, as mankind, to care for His Creation. Now that this has become a Celebrity-driven, eco-friendly flagship of “do-good,” Christians would rather argue over the political agenda behind a majority of the movement (which in many cases, is a legitimate conversation) rather than DO what God has called them to do. Had earlier generations (and even our generation) been more cognizant of our God-given role, this would be a moot (not “moo,” though I think for this talk that would be funnier to use... thus, I could say "pun intended") conversation.
In arguing the politics, most do NOTHING for fear of being labeled or seen as a proponent of the global warming movement. The result – “Mother Earth” (as called by Leonardo DiCaprio at the Kids Choice Awards this last weekend) is being cared for as an actual being and ignored by those who believe, worship and love God… just not enough (perhaps) to care for His Creation (not a being named “Mother”).
I’m not saying everyone ought to go out and buy Al Gore-approved light bulbs, buy an electric car, start making their clothes out of hemp or what-have you… I’m saying, SHOW you actually care by:
Teaching children WHY caring for the environment is really important (their schools are already teaching this to them, but for the wrong motivations).
DO SOMETHING about it. Start small… use less electricity, recycle, try to reuse items (like plastic water bottles), etc. Do a project with your kids that, one, does something and, two, teaches them the Biblical reason why. Plant a garden with them, have them lead the recycling project at home, discuss ways you can save electricity at home, etc.
Discuss, from a Biblical standpoint, “green” matters with people who also care about the environment (versus getting on your anti-taxes, anti-Al Gore soapbox). Show them you really care, but for genuine, God-given reasons. Use it as a way to demonstrating true, Godly love and passion for Him.
I don't normally post over the weekend, but saw this video and couldn't let it go. Apparently, there is a church in Oregon that utilizes a tea as a hallucinogen as a part of its worship practice. They make the sign of the cross and then down the tea. They claim it allows them to "experience God."
I understand and share their desire to experience God; however, drugs do not make that more possible.
Here is my take:
Being that God has revealed Himself to billions of people from the beginning of time, whether it be through visions/dreams, speaking to them, appearing before them, through Jesus Christ, through the church, etc. what is it that makes these people feel as though they can manipulate God into speaking to them and feel as though they are worshipping Him?
Any time you step out of your mind (drugs, being buzzed/drunk, hallucinating, etc.) your logical mind is gone; Hence the reason people think they are Superman and jump off buildings. Not for nothing, but I'm pretty sure we could experience a lot of stuff if we are hallucinating... Jesus spinning vinyl, Mary chillin' by the pool, the Apostles playin' on the merry-go-round, etc. When you're hallucinating you can't be sure you experienced anything other than a head trip.
What sort of testimony is it for the church to claim they experience God, but only after they get rocked out of their head on fun tea?
Want to truly experience God? Try this on instead... PRAY and ask God to reveal Himself. Look around and see where He already has or is showing Himself to you. Go to church (it is His Church, not man's) or speak to a pastor or a Christian that you trust about it. Another resource is the book "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby.
I think this article is right on. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teen, college student or married – this article is for you. So often people do not realize they are crossing any lines with the opposite sex because, let’s face it, as people we can justify anything we want.
“He’s/she’s just a friend”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting”
“It’s just talk… there’s nothing more to it.”
“What? I can trust them… I just need someone to talk to…”
For Teens and Singles… this is a valuable article for you in that it helps you see where you may be crossing the line emotionally. Not keeping our words, intentions or emotional attachments in check is dangerous territory. Check out my blog entry called “Abstinence is Wrong” for more on this.
For Married Folk… this is an extremely helpful article for you. Rarely do people intentionally set out to have an affair; they occur over a period of time where we slowly give part of ourselves to someone other than our spouse. REMEMBER – the greatest lessons we teach our children is the one’s we LIVE OUT in front of them. Teach them what it is to love, cherish and honor your spouse (even when they’re not around them).
I was watching The View today (yes, I know… a hole must now be punched in my Man Card), and in it they brought up Jesus Christ and Satan. To begin the conversation Whoopi G quoted "spiritual guru" (whatever that is) Dr. Deepak Chopra as saying:
“Healthy people don’t have a need for Satan… healthy people need to confront their own issues, understand themselves.”
Cue Barbara Walters asking the rest of the table if they believe in Satan or Jesus Christ (Elisabeth and Sherri said “yes,” Whoopi nodded in interest, Joy cast jokes). Following this exchange, however, Barbara quoted a “study” (from the Bonner Group?) that stated the following:
Only 9% of all adults have a “Biblical Worldview”
Only 1% of adults 18-23 have a “Biblical Worldview”
While there are many things that can be asked about the truth of these numbers (Who is the Bonner Group? What was their sample group? Who was their sample group? etc.), based on my own experience in church ministry, campus ministry and family ministry, I think these numbers are closer to accurate then not.
How many people in our churches actually have (and LIVE according to) a Biblical Worldview? How many could actually describe what a Biblical Worldview is?
How would you, or your teens/kids answer the following questions:
Who is God?
Who is Jesus Christ?
How did the Universe come into existence?
What is man?
Why is there evil in the world? If yes, where does it originate?
Is there life after death?
Is there a such thing as Truth and if so, how can one know it, truly?
EVERYONE has a worldview… everyone has a thought on life and how it came about, how we are to function in it and what happens when our life ends. Our worldview drives how we answer questions about: love, relationships, worship, social justice, hope, spirituality, family, ethics, morality, etc.
What’s your worldview? What the worldview of your family?
Without research or case studies I think the primary reason people cling to stories of the imagination is to escape. I’m not necessarily a fan of “escapism” through television, movies, books, etc., but I do understand (and often times enjoy thoroughly) the allure and joy found in a world of imagination and creativity.
I think there are several reasons why stories that challenge our imaginations are so popular and enjoyable:
Deep inside I believe there is something in all of us that desires to live in a world without the present issues or pain (the Bible even says that all of creation “groans” for it, Rev. 8:22). Imaginary worlds typically try to escape those issues or create a hero to restore it to its intended paradise.
We love creativity and uniqueness. Imaginary worlds allow us to explore creative ideas and looks. God created a world with so much color, creativity, and diversity. Seeing that beauty intrigues us to want to see and know more… to imagine the heavenly.
We love heroes and saviors. We like it when good conquers evil and hope is abundant. Even though many recent movies and video games put audiences in the position of embracing evil (such as the video game series “Grand Theft Auto”) or questioning what is really evil (such as the movie “Watchmen”), few would truly enjoy a world of pure anarchy (such as the one the Joker tries to create in “The Dark Knight”). Imaginary worlds allow us to play out in our minds the victory of good over evil, light over dark.
We despise the consequence of sin. We despise the results of our own decisions. Imaginary worlds allow us to imagine what life would be like if such consequences did not exist. Much like God desired in the beginning when He created the Universe. There was no sin, no pain, no punishment, just the pleasure of life in God’s presence.
“Peter Pan” (my all time favorite children’s story) tells the tale of the boy who wouldn’t grow up. In an enchanted world (Neverland) Peter, the hero, fought the evil Pirates, lived how he wanted, didn’t have responsibilities, flew, crowed and looked for adventure with the Lost Boys. It was the life and life wasn’t going to change because Peter never had to grow up. This is our greatest desire – a life without responsibility, pressure, pain or consequences…
HOWEVER…
…this is not our reality. We imagine as an escape, but like Harold (from “Harold and the Purple Crayon”) when the adventure’s over we are right back at “home” in our reality. We cannot truly escape reality… we can only await eagerly a day and time when what is anticipated becomes reality. Our imaginations are simply our reminder that we hope and look forward to something grander and more magnificent… something heavenly…
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And [Christ] sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” (Rev. 21:3-5)
I’ve held my tongue long enough. I can not keep silent anymore. Cheesy programming aside I have some major issues with the so-called kid-friendly programming on so-called children’s channels. TO BE CLEAR FROM THE START, I am specifically referring to the shows that begin after the little kids shows that are on in the morning (like "Suite Life...," "iCarly," "Wizards of Waverly Place," "Hannah Montana," etc.). Also, I am aware that each of the listed “beefs” do not apply to each and every show on these networks, but they are a pretty good summation.
I am…
-Tired of adults being Homer Simpson… buffoons who are constantly being told what to do by kids or outsmarted by them. Seriously, is it too hard to portray parents/adults with a shred of dignity (and a clue, because apparently none have one regarding their kids lives or what it’s like to be a kid)?
-Tired of shows aimed at audiences of 8-13 years old focusing on dating. The last thing my 8 year old needs to be watching and thinking is important is some “cute boy.” Besides that, what’s the 11 year old on the show gonna do – date the “cute gurl” (sic) for 4 years… propose at 15… be engaged for 3 years… then marry at 18?!? Even if dating IS what some 11 year olds care about, should programming encourage it? Should parents encourage it by calling it “innocent” or “cute?” Is it? This particular beef can go on for a while, but I’ll stop now – you get my point.
-Tired of mixed messages. The majority of the lead characters are “beautiful” kids with “that” look (you know – the “it” look that matches all the popular magazine covers) and the majority of the shows revolve around being popular/beautiful and then every once in a while they throw in an Oprah/Tyra episode (you know – “be yourself,” “you’re beautiful inside – that’s what really matters,” etc.). So, which is it?
-Tired of adult themes toned down and made “kid-friendly.” They take a common theme found in romantic comedies, dramas, etc. and replace the cast with kids/teens. Examples: So-and-so wanting to impress someone (some 12 year old) so they lie and cheat and deceive to get their way. OR A certain girlfriend has been seen playing on the swings with another boy. OR A girl in love with two guys and unable to choose (will it be the “bad boy” or the “right boy”?). These are but a few examples shown in recent shows geared toward the 8-13 year old market.
-Tired of the kid actors growing up and feeling this obsessive need to shed their “good” girl or boy image. Miley Cyrus, Ashley Tisdale, Hilary Duff, Shia LaBeouf, etc. What in the world is wrong with doing the right thing and refusing to sell-out or compromise?
While I could easily keep this list going, I’ll stop simply because I’m tired of thinking about it. I do not ascribe much value to watching TV as it is (we do not watch a ton of it to begin with), but what little bit of enjoyment is there is quickly being sucked away by networks’ inability to provide shows that actually have a shred of redemptive value to them. I digress…
If you live in my neck of the woods, you know the next 2-3 weeks are the equivalent of a national holiday - March Madness! I think there have been some studies done regarding work productivity during March Madness and found that more might have been accomplished had people just stayed home and watched the games! *Cue the proverbial IM "LOL"*
I must confess, I rarely watch many of the games. I do follow the results, but time does not allow me to watch hardly any of the games. I do have a little more incentive to watch some games this year as my alma mater (AZ State) is in the mix, but after a poor performance in the PAC-10 championship game I'm not holding my breath. Still being transparent, while basketball is fairly enjoyable to watch, it reminds me a bit of tennis... back-forth-back-forth-back-POINT! Ball in-back-forth-POINT! I much prefer baseball (whom many have said is as exciting as watching paint dry, but I disagree greatly!).
Something that did catch my eye is the fact that the University of Arizona is in the tournament despite the fact they only had a slightly above average season (there were several teams that should have probably been in over them, according to records, schedules, etc.). This has caused some pretty heated discussion among Bracketers, fans and columnists. To be honest I don't like that they're in the tournament either - but it has nothing to do with their record. They are my alma mater's rival (GO ASU!) so I have NO love for UA! I digress (before my UA tirades begin)...
My lack of love (and the rest of the sport's worlds right now, for that matter) for UA got me thinking about God and His love. It's a good thing He does not base His love for us or our ability to love and know Him based on fickle standards, partiality and team colors (which, for the record, the lighter shade of blue rings true in NC!).
God's love...
is not based on records or the difficulty of our schedule (lives). Yes, some seem to have it easier than others, but harder or easier His love is equal and available for all (not just the rich, powerful or well off).
is not based on trends or bandwagons. He is on everyone's bandwagon, so to speak (John 3:16)... it's us who choose not to love Him.
IS fair and just and always able to be trusted (unlike the NCAA and BCS that seems to adjust their standards year-to-year)
has far greater rewards than a temporary championship title (without googling it, can anyone name the 1984 NCAA Champ? 1990 Champ? 2001 Champ?). Titles come and go, and while they are noteworthy accomplishments, they are "perishable crowns" - but the love God offers is imperishable.
IS available in abundance for all colors, socio-economic standings, class ranks, family backgrounds, traditions, etc.
While I still don't want UA in any tourney... I thank God that my standard (or yours) is not the standard by which He chooses whom He will love or accept.
Hey Parents/teens/college-age folks... I saw a great video on Greg Stier's (founder of Dare2Share Ministries) blog that I thought was very good.
So often we know students personally, or hear about them (or maybe we were them), who abandon their faith in college/post high school (or "graduate from God" as Steven Wright says). This video does a good job of discussing some of the issues facing our teens and then tells you about a ministry that is geared specifically toward college-age students called LiveAbove. It's only about 4 minutes so check it out!
Another resource that is worth a read by your Junior/Senior high school students (or something you can read together as a mom/daughter or father/son or parent/teen project) or current college students is the book "How to Stay Christian in College." This book can be purchased online at most book stores, or in the new C2 Store on the right hand side of this blog (Click "The C2 Store" name to access the store).
On Sunday night NBC premiered its new drama series, “Kings.” It tells the story of a modern day monarchy (some say it begs the question, what would the U.S. look like with a monarchy). According to NBC’s synopsis, the series is “an epic story of greed and power, war and romance, forbidden loves and secret alliances -- and a young hero who rises to power in a modern-day kingdom.”
“Why write about a new series?” you ask. To answer the immediate question, no I am not getting paid by the network Goliath, as it were, to write about their new series (though, should the NBC exec’s see this and feel compelled to, I’d be happy to receive their donation). I write about this because this story is actually a contemporary re-telling of the story of King David, from 1 and 2 Samuel. NBC says it’s a re-telling of David and Goliath, but I disagree greatly as there are many plots and storylines taken from the epic story of David. Here are but a few of the borrowed storylines and character casting seen in the premiere:
Bible: David is a shepherd boy in the country Kings: “David Shepherd” is a mechanic boy in the country
Bible: David is anointed and appointed by God to be King of Israel through the prophet Samuel Kings: David is “anointed” (so to speak, though not said like that) by the Rev. Samuel for something unknown… yet.
Bible: King Saul was initially appointed by God to be King of Israel, then fails God through selfish ambition Kings: King Silas was initially appointed by God (yes, God) to be King, then fails God through selfish ambition
Bible: David is a “man after God’s own heart” Kings: The Reverend Ephram Samuels (stand in for the prophet Samuel) tells King Silas God no longer favors him and has appointed a new King – “a man after His own heart.”
Bible: David slays Goliath with a stone Kings: David slays the military tank Goliath (yes, I agree… they really stretched for this one) with a rocket launcher. LOL, sorry, I laughed watching it, too.
Bible: David is a musician Kings: David is a musician (plays the King’s piano)
WORD OF WARNING: As anxious as I am about this new series, I feel it is important to remind you that this is NOT the Bible. It is a “re-telling” which means they have (and will use as often as they can) the liberty to change, adjust, flip, twist, and re-imagine the Biblical account of King David. Yes, there are many similarities (to include negative qualities, such as betrayal, lust, greed, selfishness, etc.), but mind you they are very loose (some are even stretches)! One example: Jonathan, Saul’s son, in the Bible is “Jack” in “Kings” and is somewhat outed in the premiere episode as gay.
The story of David served a much larger purpose than the establishment of government/power… it ushered in the arrival of Jesus Christ and paved the way for true redemption and restoration for mankind through Him (the One True King), not a hero king. Also (SIDE NOTE), it is curious how David in the show is considered a man after God’s own heart when, so far, he has demonstrated no sign of being Godly… only noble, heroic, brave and kind (good attributes).
For those with teens you might, as a family activity, consider reading the story of Saul and David in 1 and 2 Samuel together and watch the show together. Point out similarities and misinterpretations. Talk about how the coming of the King (Jesus) through a country shepherd boy has changed and influenced modern society in ways that an earthly monarchy never could. It’ll be interesting to see how this series unfolds. Watch it on NBC’s Sundays at 8pm.
When the teens announced that they were expecting a baby last August, it thrust them in front of the national spotlight because Bristol’s mom had just been announced as John McCain’s running mate in his presidential bid. So, I wrote a blog entry discussing the consequences of our decisions (you can read that here) and how they affect us in ways we never thought they would/could later (her words on her plans prior to finding out she was pregnant: “I never would have thought I would have been a mom and I would have never thought my mom would have been chosen for Vice President”).
Fast forward to February 16th – Bristol gives an interview with FOX News, stating that teens should wait “10 years” to have a child and that the ideal way to prevent teen pregnancy is abstinence; “BUT”, she continued, “it’s not realistic because [premarital sex] is so accepted among kids my age.” (See that video interview here) A note on this… of course it is unrealistic if your eyes and desires are only about you (and the people you use to judge your actions are your peers with their own self-seeking desires). Real love, however, takes REAL work… it’s hard! It requires you to put others (especially your partner) above yourself! Lust is easy… you see something, you like it, you take it… love requires commitment and integrity!
Then, fast forward to today – the new mommy and daddy are now no longer together. A few short months ago they were planning a wedding/future together. Now, they are “off.” Why? According to Levi, it’s because they (or he is) are not “mature” enough for marriage. (?!?!?)
This is probably the most mature decision the couple has made so far. Unfortunately, the timing of it now makes it an immature reaction. The time to decide if one is mature enough for a committed relationship is prior to taking/giving away each other's purity (minds, hearts, bodies, etc.), not after – and DEFINITELY not after you bring a child into the world. Their decision now is not about them, but about their child.
I’m not here, necessarily, to criticize Levi or Bristol – I have no idea what’s going on in their lives, nor is it my business. There may be legitimate reasons for them not to be married or be together, but my point is that those decisions need to come earlier (see my "purity blog entry here: “Abstinence is Wrong”).
TEENS: In her interview, Bristol says she hopes other teens learn from her story. I agree – I hope you do. More than just pregnancy, though (because avoiding teen pregnancy is not the key here; what about your own purity? Your husband’s/wife’s feelings? Your children’s?), I pray you see how quickly “love” and situations can change (and yes it can happen to you, for those that think it won’t because you/your significant other are different). I pray you select carefully those you share your heart with and seek fulfillment in a Godly, committed relationship that desires to worship God and enjoy true love.
PARENTS:See my blog entry on purity for how to teach/navigate your children/teens through these natural feelings. Click here to read it.
BRISTOL AND LEVI…I appreciate the love you both seem to have for your son and your desires to put him first. I know this season of your life is rough, but know that God’s grace, mercy and True Love are bigger and can prevail if you allow them to. I am praying for you two and your son.
When you encourage your teen to “abstain,” what is it, exactly, that you want them to abstain from? Yes, we should be advocates of sex after marriage for our children, but what about all the “stuff” that leads up to the sex? What about the intimate/lustful thoughts? The kissing? The making out? The touching? The caressing? The passion? The selling-out of the heart (allowing feelings to develop and grow for a person)?
Abstinence is wrong for three reasons: (1) it's all about limiting... God is not about limiting, but abundance (sex is a God-given intimacy that should be ENJOYED... in the right relationship, at the right time, with the right person)! (2) It has more of a push to save the world from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Both are good causes, but what about the rewards of loving your future spouse more than yourself? What about loving God and displaying that love with a Godly lifestyle? (3) It falls seriously short of confronting the real issue - the heart. It's not just a sex thing, but a heart thing. Who is ultimately being loved?
To a large degree, the pursuit of true love that champions patience, truth, right/Godly living, protection (as in protecting the other person in the relationship’s thoughts, hopes, bodies, etc.), etc. has been lost. To say it another way – the pursuit of purity has been lost because, relationally speaking, it is not God whom people try to please or worship in their relationships, but instead it is either their significant other or themselves.
As parents we know these struggles our teens face and it would be wise of us to empathize with them and let them know that what they think about and struggle with is common!! Sexual relationships are God-given and desiring to be part of one is NOT sinful… however, what happens from there is where the temptation and dangers lie. Checkout 1 Corinthians 10:12-13… it’s a great reminder to us that temptation is common and an encouragement to us that since it is common we are not alone (we aren’t the first to face it, and won’t be the last).
So how can we guide our kids/teens? What are some things we can do/say to lead them toward purity (loving God with all our heart, mind and soul – in other words, with the way we live our lives)?
#1... It is never too early to teach purity.
The key to teaching about purity is not about teaching rules or limits. Purity is about us seeking to worship God with every facet of our life (1 Cor. 10:31 – from the same chapter as the temptation passage above). It’s all about learning to love God more than anything else and seeing His world as He created it, especially marriage. It’s funny that the same culture that keeps selling the myth of self pleasure (find what makes you happy and go after it) is the same one where marriages are crumbling and true love seems to be an unobtainable dream. Rabbit Trail: Of course that culture has also influenced the church and now the divorce rate in the church is almost even with that of those outside of it. Why? Instead of seeking purity, people seek Burger King theology: “My way, right away” and lose sight of what God has in store for us in marriage… I digress.
Purity is something we ought to model and encourage our children from day one. SHOW THEM what it looks like to love God with every aspect of your life. DEMONSTRATE humility when you fall short and mess up by seeking forgiveness (how else will they come to know and understand unconditional love and forgiveness?). Get them excited about marriage by making your spouse the #2 priority in your life, with God being #1. Pray for them and their future spouse!
#2... Purity starts in our thoughts. What are our teens thinking about? What do they think about love, dating, physical touch, etc.?
YES – it is very awkward talking about oral sex, “feeling” under clothing, “French kissing,” lustful thoughts of the opposite sex and sexual intercourse (to name a few). BUT IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS! Our teens are hearing about these things, seeing it (it’s on the internet, in music videos, video games, movies and on public TV – the new 90210 on CW showed a suggested scene of oral sex in its series premiere), wondering about it and thinking about it a lot! Who is going to be their teacher? Who is going to teach them a good, solid, Biblical worldview on these matters? The parents – it is our calling and obligation… period.
As awkward as it is – start by bringing it up. Offer your teen an open forum! Tell them they can talk to you any time about any of those topics without consequence. If you haven’t heard from them about it after a while, bring it up again and check in on them.
There are two key ways to help teach them (and us as parents, for that matter) protect their thoughts: (1) Be cautious about what we let in (whether heard, seen, etc.), (2) teach about real love, real intimacy, Godly marriage, the privilege of loving someone more than themselves, etc. Again, we’re not trying to put restrictions on our teens (though there are times that is necessary since many times they aren’t capable of making the right choices because their minds are still developing), but to help them see down the road – about a life and marriage committed to God and one another.
#3... When it comes to touching – what do your teens think is “the limit” (how far is too far)? What do you think is “the limit”?
Based on 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (READ THIS PASSAGE!) and what I’ve personally enjoyed in marriage I am an advocate for no touching until marriage. This is a VERY prudish statement today, I know. Even Christians are probably asking out loud as they read this “NO TOUCHING?!?!?” or screaming “that’s not realistic!” I am aware it may seem out-of-touch (however, my question to that is “out of touch with who? God? The world where the divorce rate is climbing and people are opting out of getting married all together?”) and is far easier said than done. I’m tired of seeing marriages crumbling and I think it’s time we face the fact that going after what we want with little to no patience (or worship for that matter) isn’t getting us what we (or God) want in the long run. Most people desire an intimate relationship that lasts, but how can that happen when at its inception the relationship is founded on selfishness (fulfilling my desires now versus in a committed, loving marriage as God designed)?
“What’s wrong with innocent stuff, like kissing?” Nothing – God designed it. Three points, though: (1) What's "innocent" and according to what/who do you define innocent? Innocent is a relative term - it changes as our desires allow it to. (2) If a husband kisses a woman who is not his wife – most would agree there is a problem with it (the Bible calls it adultery). Teens may not have a spouse at the moment, but they will (most likely) one day. Instead of thinking about loving themselves by fulfilling their desires right now, why not teach them to love their spouse by respecting their own bodies (after all, after they’re married, that body belongs to their spouse)? (3) Why kiss? To show affection? Why not teach teens how to love and show affection without kissing? That helps protect them now, makes kissing that much more intimate with their spouse later and teaches them how to be affectionate in other ways other than just sex after they’re married.
To be transparent… Because most parents (if not all) did not meet this standard when they were dating (myself included), they feel as if it’s unfair to impose it on our kids. This could not be further from the truth!!! Our goal as parents is not to restrict our kids from fun – we are trying to enhance it! We are trying to help them enjoy the full benefits of a sexual relationship in the right relationship – marriage. To enjoy all that it has to offer while enjoying the benefit of a spouse that has pledged their commitment, loyalty and protection to them. We should not set the bar lower because we didn’t meet it. We use our story and shortcomings and the example of our present marriages now to encourage our kids to put their future spouses above their desires now.
#4... When it comes to influences, I think it’s important that parents take a proactive approach in their teens lives.
Ask them: “who are some of your favorite music artists?” “What are some of your favorite movies?” “What sort of things do you look for in friends?” Then ask follow up questions, like “Why?” I talked to a very “clean cut” girl the other day that is raised in church and has a SOLID family life. I asked her – “who is your favorite music artist?” and she replied “Soulja Boy” (whose music is filthy, degrading to women, morally bankrupt, etc.). Knowing her parents, I think they’d be beside themselves if they actually read some of his lyrics and knew what he was saying.
To be clear - I’m not about censorship, but I do think there is a time when parents NEED to be a censor. There is also a time for teaching and hearing out a teen, and using that conversation as a way of explaining why certain lyrics, philosophies, worldviews, etc. are wrong and what Truth really is and why they should embrace that over a selfish, narrow-minded worldview.
This concludes the Dating/Love/Relationships series… I hope you enjoyed it. I know a lot of what was said in it is often debated (after all, it’s not a new conversation). Even if you disagree with me on some or all points, I pray that at a minimum it at least challenged you and got you thinking. I know it has me… my wife and I talk almost on a daily basis about teaching this stuff to our own children. We don’t always agree, but we both go to bed together in prayer asking God for wisdom and praying for our children, that at the heart of all of this they will desire to love God more than anything else.
Beginning Monday I am going to try to start posting daily (mornings are my goal) about popular topics in culture, news, etc. Also, because of the frequency of the posts I will begin making them shorter, too. Stop by daily as a part of your news fix!
Want to be part of the conversation? Have a question or comment? Click here!
Some stuff has come up in the real world that has prevented me from engaging the virtual world of my blog. My wife's grandparents have become quite ill which prompted an unexpected trip to see them and help out this last week. So, needless to say, I have not had a chance to update the blog (nor have I had access to the internet to let you know).
I plan to post two at once this week to catch up. I'm sorry about that. Also, a side note... I plan to get back to engaging the culture/world around us... so much has happened that I wish I had more time to comment on...
Bristol Palin's comment that abstinence is not realistic (I beg to differ - it's not easy, but in a world of "fulfill me and my selfish desires above all," that sort of answer is not surprising)
Dustin Lance Black's Oscar acceptance speech for his "Milk" screenplay in which he tells gay children/teens who are told they are "less by their churches, by the government or their families..." is a sad testimony on three fronts. First, the fact that there are churches who do say that. Second, that all churches/Christianity are (is) stereotyped as being homophobic and hateful toward gays. Yes, homosexuality is a sin and it has deep issues within the family, but it is no worse than any other sin (this is a much deeper topic that I cannot possibly grapple with in a few sentences). Third, that churches are so willing to die on the hill of homosexuality and not on the glaring sins present within the walls of the churches or their heterosexual members' lives. I digress...
Obama's plans for more funding for faith-based groups/organizations
American Idol and the influx of "worship" or "music" leaders from churches (according to my latest, unofficial count - I believe there are 4-5 in the top 36, maybe more).
Alex Rodriguez, steroids, baseball and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. It seems that easy (and gotta-have-it-now) is the official American standard - no matter the cost. Sad. More could be said, but again I digress.
Plus there is more... so much has been happening. I look forward to more dialogue soon. I also think I may begin writing on a more regular basis (than once a week) and begin making the entries shorter. We'll see.
Look for my next 2 posts to wrap up the series later this week (hopefully by Thursday).
Please remember to pray for both of my wife's grandparents (husband and wife - Milton and Billie)... they are both in the hospital as I type this and have been since last Thursday.
Also... one last note to my hijacking-blogger wife (for those that missed it, she hijacked my blog and left a very flattering and kind blog entry about me that I was unaware of )... thank you for your amazingly kind and loving words. You humble me. Why you picked me, I'll never know, but I thank God daily that you are my friend, my partner in ministry, my love, the mother of my children and my wife. I pray I make you proud and that God is glorified through our marriage.
I'm a Jesus Freak, for real! I'm sold out, bought out follower of the One True Lord, Jesus Christ.
I love my wife - no doubt about it! She's my #1 girl and always will be. I love my 3 kids - they make me smile! The best day in the world is spending time with the four of them.
I love discussing the arts (especially film and music) and sharing hope found in Christ.
I'm a nut... love laughing, sarcasm and love talking with witty people. I'm sure there's more, but that's kinda me in a nutshell *"look this is me in a nutshell... how did i get in here?"*
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