Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Blog Readers

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 2
I am sorry for the delay in posts. I have been battling severe congestion in my chest for the last week and half or more. I'm hoping to be back regularly soon, but until I'm at full health, my posts are going to be a little less "regular". Sorry for the delay in posts... gonna try to post something by tomorrow regarding the Mormon faith, families, culture and morality.

Blessings...
Christian the Christian

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Friday, October 23, 2009

Don't Be Revolted Just Yet - You May Have More in Common with the "Balloon-Boy" Parents Than You Think

Friday, October 23, 2009 0

By now most people in the nation (the world?) know of the Heenes, though most probably still only know them as "Balloon-Boy's Parents". Like many across the nation, I was mesmerized by the footage and unfolding story of Falcon, the 6 year old boy who was rumored to have been stuck in his father's weather balloon. I prayed hard for the young man and his parents, who I assumed were worried sick. Then came the reports and images revealing he was not in the balloon, but had possibly been in the basket under the balloon, which pictures showed plummeting back to the earth; I was devistated. I could not fathom what those parents were going through. Fast forward a bit later - the boy is safe in his attic and the parents "relieved" while secretly beginning to listen to the cash registers in their minds go "KA-CHING!"

It was a hoax. A story made up to gain notoriety and hopefully a reality show for their family. The emotional agony once held by the nation has now become a feeling of anger and disbelief: "How in the world could parents consider it in the best interest of their child/children to exploit them and make light of their safety for their own personal gain?"

Sadly, though - if we stop long enough to think about it, parents using (or "helping") their children for personal gain is all too common a story. Too often today parents willingly (though maybe unintentionally) position their children to be their meal ticket one day. The only difference between those parents and the Heenes is that the Heene's plan was intentionally played out on live television (not to mention they lied and violated several local and federal laws). Here are but a few examples of how some parents willingly capitalize on their children's interests/talents:

  • One of America's biggest examples: Sports! Practice 4-6 days a week, games, hired "specialist" coaches, sports camps, trainers, gym memberships, etc. Sure, the kids like the sports, but at the heart of most of the kids, the desire to succeed is from the dreams and wishes of the parents - in other words, they want to make mom and dad proud.

  • Beauty pageants. Fake eyelashes, fake hair (extensions or what-have-you), tanning, makeup, posture classes, personal trainers, personal beauty coaches, "healthy diets," constant pageants, talent classes (music, dance, singing, twirling, gymnastics or whatever), etc.

  • Acting. Acting camps/classes, theater groups, constant auditions, "studying" (obsessing) about current Hollywood culture, dance classes, music classes, personal acting coaches, personal trainers, etc.

  • Academic achievements. Personal tutors, excessive standards for grades ("nothing less than an 'A'"), special academic clubs, extra long homework sessions, extra trips to the library, additional assignments not given in school, pressure to apply to the Ivy League schools, etc.

The list could go on, but you get the idea. Unfortunately, this is too common a story in the lives of many parents. They consider themselves good parents for investing so much time and money in their child, but motivationally one must wonder who all the work and accolades are really for. This is not to say the parents are bad parents, either... just misguided. Instead of nurturing and guiding a child's desires or interests, they go overboard with ridiculous standards and push their own agendas, dreams or desires (maybe well-intentioned dreams for their children) on to their children.

I have no doubt that for the bulk of the parents who become part of this world that their chief desire is to provide the best life and future for their children. I believe they sincerely love their children, the Heenes included, and only want to provide the best for their present and future. However, I think ALL parents would be wise to reevaluate the future they desire for their children: what does that future look like? Is it what is really best for my children? What must we sacrifice to achieve that? Do we sacrifice too much and lose who we are as a family in the process?

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds." (Matthew 16:26-27)

Sports, acting, studying/learning, etc. are not evil endeavors. Matter of fact there is great value in many of those pursuits; however, there is a line we must draw. When they become so important that they become the top priority of our lives (evidenced by how we spend our time, money or resources) we must stop and reconsider our priorities. Have these endeavors replaced God in our lives or worship? Have we redefined who we are (or lead our children to define themselves) based on these achievements? Have these endeavors become idols? Checkout my post on this very common issue (in all of our lives!):
"Turns Out Our Hearts Are Idol Factories".

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

Image credit:
REUTERS/KUSA
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Time to Audition a New Pastor?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 2

Typically when people learn that I am a youth pastor they have one of three reactions...

(1) they immediately begin to confess sin as if I might offer them atonement for those sins ("I haven't been to church in a while... I've just been so busy," "I've been struggling with ------- sin, but hey - no one's perfect, right?", etc.), or

(2) they have an "Oh" reaction ("oh - you are?" as they withdraw as if I'm going to investigate their spiritual lives, or "oh... ok?" as in "who cares", or "oh, ok!" as in that's great that there is one of you somewhere), or

(3) they react like a 70 year old gentleman did the other day at the mall and ask "have you heard so-and-so preach before? He is a DYNAMIC speaker! He can preach that Gospel in a way I've never heard before!"

Matter of fact, his statement was actually: "Have you ever heard pastor so-and-so preach? (I said no and that I had never heard of him) Oh, boy he is dynamic! He presents the Gospel in such an amazing way!" I asked how long the pastor had been at his church and he said "oh, he's not our pastor - he was a guest speaker one day. I tell you what - I had no problem staying awake that Sunday! I'm 70 years old, I can fall asleep anywhere, but not when that man preaches because he yells and claps and sings and really gets you excited!" I spoke to him about whether or not he ever serves or encourages the pastor of his church with such kind words and he said "awwww, no. He can't deliver the Word like [Guest] Pastor so-and-so." I tried a couple of times to encourage him to seek more than a song and dance, and to see the value of his faithful Pastor, but he wouldn't hear it and eventually walked away.

This is not an isolated incident. I'm afraid this way of thinking is a major issue in the church! Unfortunately, it plagues almost everyone in and out of the church:
  • Those who don't go because they find the TV preachers all the spiritual food they need
  • Those who don't go because church is "too boring"
  • Those who only go "when Pastor so-and-so is preaching because I understand him better"
  • Church leaders who still go, but secretly wish their pastor were someone else
  • Those who frequently change churches until they find one that has a dynamic and exciting pastor
  • Those who have a new pastor
  • Those who have a pastor who has been faithfully leading their church for a while
  • Anyone else I have not mentioned

We live in a world where superstars no longer exist because they have now become idols. Even the church is not immune to this and people attend regularly hoping to be entertained. If the pastor lacks the skills to keep the congregation's attention, the people either leave, zone out, fall asleep, or stagger their appearances.

NEWSFLASH: God did call on Pastor's to be entertaining or dynamic! He called them to be faithful and capable of "rightly dividing the Word" (teaching the whole of Scripture)...

"Do your best to present yourself to God as an approved worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." (1 Timothy 2:15)

You can also read the qualifications for a pastor in 1 Timothy 3:1-7.

NEWSFLASH: God's Word is so holy, relevant, true and sharp that it cuts to the real heart of the matter. No person is capable of bringing it to life more than it already does itself!

"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable." (Hebrews 4:12-13)

NEWSFLASH: God is not a fan of entertaining the masses! As a matter of fact, it is despicable to Him. (NOTE: Few churches actually claim to be entertainment factories; today entertainment is hidden behind the guise of being "relevant" or "engaging")

"Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths." (2 Timothy 4:2-4)

It is time we stop auditioning our pastors as if to find our next Church Idol winner. Instead of grading a pastor on "how exciting is he when he preaches?", we ought to be asking deeper questions such as:
  • Is he a faithful man?
  • Does he rightly teach the Word of God? (Does he challenge us to dive deeper?)
  • Is he the same outside the walls of the church as he is inside?
  • Is he beloved within the community and does he truly care about it?
  • Does he lead his family well?
  • Does he minister to his wife and children first and make them top priority?

PARENTS: We are often times the worst offenders! We not only want an exciting pastor to listen to, but a dynamic children's minister and ministry and a youthful, exciting and relevant Youth Pastor and youth ministry for our kids and teens. We so desperately want our kids to like being in church that we demonstrate to them our true priority is making sure they have fun versus worshipping God in a real way that transforms the whole of their lives (or ours, for that matter). Getting kids to show up in church is not the standard we ought to be shooting for! What should be our standard is showing them what a life transformed by God and commited to honoring and loving Him looks like.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

Image borrowed from sam.weiss.

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Friday, October 16, 2009

Real Church: A Message for the Skeptic, the Latte-Drinking Christian, the Seeker, the Zealot and Everyone Else

Friday, October 16, 2009 1

Here is an amazing article about the church that all should read. It speaks about the REAL church and it's got something in it for everyone:

  • The skeptic
  • The seeker (one looking for answers)
  • The Latte-Drinking Christian/Spiritualist
  • The Social-Club Christian
  • The imperfect perfect person
  • The Religious Zealot
  • The every Sunday Christian
  • The Tolerant
  • The Intolerant

Here are two excerpts from this great article (written by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck), which was featured in the Washington Post:

"Here's what Bono, Oprah, and the guru speakers on PBS won't tell you: Jesus believed in organized religion and he founded an institution. Of course, Jesus had no patience for religious hacks and self-righteous wannabes, but he was still Jewish. And as Jew, he read the Holy Book, worshiped in the synagogue, and kept Torah. He did not start a movement of latte-drinking disciples who excelled in spiritual conversations. He founded the church (Matt. 16:18) and commissioned the apostles to proclaim the good news that Israel's Messiah had come and the sins of the world could be forgiven through his death on the cross (Matt. 28:18-20; Acts 2:14-36)."

"We've been in the church our whole lives and are not blind to its failings. Churches can be boring, hypocritical, hurtful, and inept. The church is full of sinners. Which is kind of the point. Christians are worse than you think. Our Savior is better than you imagine."

Read the rest of the article here: "Church: Love It, Don't Leave It"

Want to joing the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Once in a "Lifetime" Opportunity to be with Marilyn Monroe

Thursday, October 15, 2009 0

Die hard Marilyn Monroe fans may not be able to meet the late actress/model, but now they can be with her in death, so-to-speak. That's right. For a couple million dollars, your remains and epitaph can now be directly above the late Mrs. Monroe (and in the same cemetery as other late celebrities such as Rodney Dangerfield, Dean Martin, Farrah Fawcett, Jack Lemmon and more)! Elsie Poncher's late husband was the previous resident (late resident?) of the space, but his wife decided to move him over a spot and auction off his spot to pay her mortgage ($1.6 million mortgage).

I cannot say I find much fault in her desire to provide security for herself and her children; however, I do find it a little creepy to capitalize on other people's idolatry by relocating her late husband's remains which have been buried there since 1986. Where I do have a major issue is the length people are willing to go to be associated with their idols - even though it should not surprise me since people have been consumed with idols since the beginning of time. In the Old Testament people would offer up their best possessions to sacrifice to idols carved with their own hands. Today, instead of sacrificing their best to carved images, people:
  • Define themselves by those idols (celebrities/culture)
  • Compare their worth as humans against the fame of their idols
  • Pay ridiculous amounts of money and absurd amounts of time to read about, meet, or associate with their idols (magazines, movies, buy their music, hang their posters on their walls, follow their every word on Twitter, MySpace or Facebook, follow their news in gossip tabloids, etc.); otherwise known as making sacrifices to enjoy their idols
In the case of this story, people bid millions of dollars (the original winning bid, which failed to materialize, was $4.6 million) to "spend [their] eternal days directly above Marilyn Monroe" (quote from the ebay advertisement for the burial spot).

If this is not the icing on the cake to a culture obsessed with its celebrities, I do not know what is.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

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Friday, October 9, 2009

Are You a "GLEEk"?

Friday, October 9, 2009 1

Fox has premiered one of TV's most out-of-the-box crossover hits (for a TV series, that is) in its new show "Glee". Die hard fans (who call themselves "Gleeks") watch the show, catch them again online and download the choir-performed songs to their iPods. It's "Fame" for this generation, but instead of being based in a Julliard-esque school of performing arts it is based in a high school glee club (choir) who sing while performing choreographed moves (trust me - it is not dancing).

I was really excited about "Glee" and even programmed my DVR to make sure I would not miss an episode. The pilot episode was everything it promised to be and, despite some awkward moments, I was hooked (my wife moreso than me). The singing (while obviously staged - especially the musicians), quarkiness, characters, and flow were great. I was well on my way to being a "Gleek". Then came the second, third and fourth episodes and we watched the wheels fall off this wagon entirely. I have serious problems with "Glee" and no longer watch it because of how absolutely uncomfortable it makes me. Here are some of the key issues I have with the show:

  • It is a melting pot of culturally hot topics. Teen sex (major part of the story), pedophilia (somehow they've made that a joke), homosexuality, cheesy abstinence "promises", Christianity, inappropriate relationships (male students sleeping with and being groped by older, sexy women), a looming affair (it is almost a certainty that the main character, the glee club teacher, is going to leave his wife for a colleague) and more.

  • It seems the primary purpose of the show is to promote one worldview: "follow your heart" (which should have the subtitle: "regardless of the consequences"). Instead of encouraging virtue it takes the obvious fact that the world is broken and no one is perfect and embraces it, encouraging people to accept it and enjoy it. Instead of encouraging students to guard their heart they use teens as the vehicle for promoting reckless living.

  • The absolute mockery that is Christianity in the show. Christianity is represented in the show via the (as usual in Hollywood) snotty, pretentious, wealthy, beauty queen Head Cheerleader. To top it off she is head of the abstinence club that teaches the girls (this over-the-top-not-so-subtle joke is unfortunately very true of most girls and guys) to flaunt it, tease it, but don't give it up. This teasing, however, has now led to the Christian cheerleader sleeping with one of the glee members and ending up pregnant. See my take on TV and Christianity here.

  • The sexuality promoted is anything but subtle. In many of the musical numbers sex is the primary motive of the song choices and the choreography. Here is a small sample:
  1. Male teachers and two male students form a singing group (funny name: "AcaFella" instead of Acapella) and perform the sexually-loaded song "Poison" for all the PTA moms
  2. The students of the glee club sing the HIGHLY sexual song "Push It" by Salt-n-Peppa in front of the entire student body. They grind on each other, grope each other, they gyrate, and the student audience salivates. To see this clip (not recommended), click here: "Push It" from Glee.
  3. Cheerleaders wash cars in cheer skirts and bikini tops while accompanying one of the glee club members as she sings about breaking windows in someone's car
  4. Glee members sing Carrie Underwood's song "Last Name" (about a night of drinking and loose living with a guy whom she doesn't even know his last name) as the female adult in the performance occasionally grabs the male students' butts (I thought that was illegal?) and teases them.

Glee gets away with all of this (and is now beloved by audiences and critics alike) because they intentionally play it over the top (such as the former glee teacher who is fired in the pilot for inappropriate relationship with a male student later stalking Josh Groban on Facebook) and wrap it in the no boundaries genre of comedy. This way they can say "we're not really embracing that stuff, we are mocking it and showing the absurdity of it."

I am not laughing though. How can I? They take everything I am working diligently to protect my children from (and myself, for that matter) and embrace it. They mock the very faith I call vital and have very little regard for the welfare of teens - those who face this broken world daily and don't have life scripted for them. A life where all decisions have consequences (good and bad) and real people are emotionally fragile.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

"Ardi" is Bad Science

Thursday, October 8, 2009 1
Origin science (trying to discover where we come from, how the earth began, etc.) is a tricky endeavor. Neither of the two major camps in the conversation are unable to prove definitively how anything came into existence.

Evolutionary scientists cannot recreate the Big Bang in a lab, nor can they recreate any primordial soup or massive shock capable of bring nonliving matter to life.

Creationists cannot recreate the divine hand or voice of God in order to simulate their belief that God created everything in 6 literal days.

BOTH camps require significant amounts of faith to believe or follow! Evolution places the fullness of their faith in a non-intelligent, non-biased process that randomly eliminates the weak and evolves over millions of years. Creationism places their faith in an all-knowing, all-powerful, just, holy and perfect God that divinely created all of life and intentionally ordered all of its processes (as revealed in Scripture). COnsidering the ordered nature of the universe (earth's seasons, life cycles, the human body, gravity, orbital patterns, etc.) it seems to me that evolution and all its claims of randomness takes more faith than an intelligent, intentional Creator!
NOTE: There is a third camp - Intelligent Design - that is quite similar to creationism. They claim that life originated in a creator, but who that is and how it happened is still up for debate.

Since Evolutionary scientists cannot recreate the origin of anything, they are searching for the "missing link" - the transitional creature that is a hybrid (of sorts) of two totally different species, but connects the two genetically. The hope in finding such a link is that it will prove that man has evolved from another species. If they can find that, then it will be the foundation for their argument that all of life evolved from nonliving matter into what we see today.

This is why science's latest discovery "Ardi" (short for Ardipithecus ramidus) is causing such a stir. Evolutionary scientists are calling this the most significant find in evolutionary/biological sciences. There are problems with their so-called conclusions and reports, though.

1. The premise/hypothesis in which they work from will only allow for one conclusion.

2. This sort of science is less about reporting findings and more about taking a few, limited bone samples and drawing (or inferring) definite conclusions. For example, from the handful of bones they found of Ardi they have concluded that she walked upright, climbed trees (but didn't swing from them), and was ape-like (though they are unwilling to call her an ape or a human). The bulk of the scientific findings is gathered from digital recreations and not the actual fossils.

3. Reports are from a select few in the world of science and many within the field do not agree with their conclusions.

So who or what is "Ardi" then? According to Answers in Genesis:

Given the number and scope of the papers presented this week on Ardi, it will take some time before creationists are confident in our conclusions on Ardi and her kin. Based on our first look, however, the facts seem solidly behind the idea that Ardi was a quadrupedal ape with relatively little in common with humans (i.e., no more than most apes); the key basis for the alleged Ardi–human link (which even the authors are hesitant to confirm) is the idea that it walked upright—an idea that even evolutionists have criticized. And we can’t forget that all of these conclusions are inferred from digital reconstructions and fallible reconstructions of bones that were in very bad shape. Without having a live “Ardi” to observe, scientists will only ever be able to come to probabilistic conclusions about its characteristics.


To read more about this check out the following links:

A FANTASTIC ARTICLE FROM CREATION SCIENCE (ABOUT "ARDI")

ABC NEWS REPORT ON CREATIONISM AND EVOLUTIONARY SCIENCE CONCERNING ARDI

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

Pic borrowed from MSNBC.
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Turns Out Our Hearts are Idol Factories

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 0
ABC News show Nightline has been doing a series on the Ten Commandments and their coverage of the Second Commandment ("no idols") is fantastic! In it they interview Pastor Mark Driscoll (from Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA) and some of the college students in his church about, what he calls, "the MOST relevant (to today's culture) of all the Commandments."

Check out the video interview (featured on ABC's Nightline News!) or read the article here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/10Commandments/ten-commandments-pastor-preaches-worship-modern-day-idols/story?id=8712532

This is a must read/watch!

Want to join the conversation? Click here to ask a question or comment!

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Monday, October 5, 2009

How to Fix Jon and Kate (We Can Learn From Them)

Monday, October 5, 2009 0

The circus that is Jon and Kate (Plus 8) just keeps getting bigger. This fiasco is like Gremlins (classic movie from 1984 for those unaware) and everyone keeps disobeying the rules:

1. Don't feed the Mogwai after Midnight (we've got 24 hour a day coverage of them and drop everything the moment they wish to give an interview - I think even the president has bigger hoops to jump through to get air time than they do)

2. No Water
(ok, this one's a stretch but I'm sure most can craft a witty water joke to accompany this rule, ala "no more beach excursions, Jon," "Just say 'no' to yachts and girls in bathing suits, Jon,' etc.)

3. No bright light (that's all that's in their faces - flash bulbs, camera lights, spotlights...)

I'm not here to be one of the millions to run their mouth to belittle, cripple, bash, humiliate and watch their family collapse even further. I am here to provide three steps for them (should they decide to stumble across this blog) to recover their family. These three steps will not only help save their marriage and family should they be willing, but can help yours as well...

1. STOP TELLING THE WORLD YOUR BUSINESS! Stop the interviews, stop justifying yourselves and stop letting us any further into your world! You owe us no explanation whatsoever. It is not the media's right, nor ours, to have full access to your life and at no point will the public's perception of your life ever be an asset to you finding healing.

2. STOP MANIPULATING. You both claim innocence and wish to be the victim when in reality you have both have cut, hurt, manipulated and crushed each other to oblivion! The only way you will ever have any semblance of hope is if you both stop trying to sway public opinion your way, take responsibility for your own part in your marriage's demise (to this point) and begin to forgive (healing will never take place in your lives or the lives of your children until there is forgiveness).

3. REGROUP! It is NEVER to late to turn around, right wrongs and rethink your game plan . This step is where you both, without name calling or finger pointing and admit you need help! Both of you claim to be believers, so seek the PRIVATE council of a trusted Pastor and ask him to help guide you through this process of renewal, healing, forgiveness, and hopefully restoration!

For the rest of the world who sit by and watch (often negatively and critically as if you would do better under such scrutiny), realize you are no different and your marriages are not immune to the struggles they face. Granted, they have some pretty unique circumstances, but at the heart of it they are still a man and woman, a husband and a wife, a couple with a story and people who hurt beyond words right now. The three steps I mention above apply to all couples - even the non-famous variety...

For us, the difference in our marriages is we do not seek to air our grievances on television - we do it in the company of our friends (with family members, guys with their guy friends, girls with their girl friends, and on many occasions husbands with other women and wives with other men). No, you do not air your laundry to the whole world, just your local world.

Just like Jon and Kate we are all manipulators. We all want it our way and when faced with extraordinary circumstances will do just about anything to get our way. So many times couples tell half truths or lies to coworkers, friends, family members and even strangers to make themselves look like the victim when the reality is both share responsibility in the collapse or falling apart of their marriage.

And just like Jon and Kate - it is never too late for couples who truly wish to find healing and even restoration to regroup and begin again. No foundation is so cracked or damaged that it is unrepairable. Start with a trusted pastor and see where God leads!

If you are a husband or a wife and your marriage is struggling or you are beginning to see stress fractures along the foundation of your marriage and you are not sure who to talk with, feel free to email me and I would love to talk with you through Email, by phone or however you would like. You can reach me at christianthechristian.c2@gmail.com.

EDITORIAL NOTE: I am aware that this seems a bit over-simplified and that not all marital problems are that easy to solve. However, that being said, most cannot truly begin to seek healing because they are too busy living in the past hurts of what was instead of what could be. Many couples punish themselves and do even greater damage when, instead, they could begin to take steps to: (1) worshiping God (even in the midst of the storm), (2) re-learning love and the true value of commitment and covenants, and (3) learning how to forgive and be free of hurt.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

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Thursday, October 1, 2009

A RADICAL MESSAGE FOR PARENTS: Settle for Less and Receive More!

Thursday, October 1, 2009 0

This is one of the most powerful article's I've ever read on parenting teens. It is a must read for ALL parents of youth/children - either you have a teen or a soon-to-be teen. There are things that we all need to rethink when it comes to discipling and training our children and this article gives a great foundation to start!

I have read some of Paul Tripp's other books and now plan to add this one (
Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp) to my reading list, too - and encourage you to do the same! Here are a few quotes or excerpts from the article (read it in full here - it's a little lengthy, but take the time, please! You will not be sorry for the investment of time):

"
What often gets in the way of parenting teenagers is the idolatry of their mother and father."

"T
he book of Proverbs is very clear in reminding us that teenagers don’t usually hunger for wisdom and correction. I’ve never had one of my kids say to me, “As I was riding the bus home from school I was thinking, ‘Dad, you’re a really wise man. I’d just love to sit at your feet and drink in some more of your wisdom,’ or ‘Dad, I realize that when you correct me you are showing me your love. Would you like to correct me some more?’ ” So what should be my goal here? As a parent I realize that wisdom is crucial to pleasing God, and yet it’s not the thing for which my teenager tends to hunger. So now I’ve got my job description. It’s to sell my teenager something that he is not seeking. And so I decide that I’ll model being a wise man. I want to show him that wisdom is a beautiful and wonderful thing. And I want to sell wisdom to him so that he becomes a really keen consumer. The point I’m making is that in each area of teenage struggle there’s wonderful parental opportunity.

Another characteristic of teenagers is that they tend to be very legalistic. They don’t particularly love God’s law, they frequently debate the boundaries and they’re very boundary oriented. I tell people that if God’s law is like a fence, then my kids grew up with fence marks on their faces. As teens they were always pressing against the fence. Now you don’t solve the problem of teenage legalism by debating where the boundary is. Why? Because a child who is pressing his face against the fence is believing a very significant lie. The lie is that the good stuff is out there and God is keeping him from it.
What I need to do is turn his body to the inside of the yard and show him the glory of what God has called us to."

"
We also must realize that every teenager is a sinner and is trying to learn how to live in God’s world, learning what it means to be godly and learning the dangers of sin. There’s no possible way that that won’t have a huge impact on my life. And that’s why people don’t like their teenagers."

Read the full article here.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

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