My Beef with Disney/Nickelodeon/Noggin (The "N")

I’ve held my tongue long enough. I can not keep silent anymore. Cheesy programming aside I have some major issues with the so-called kid-friendly programming on so-called children’s channels. TO BE CLEAR FROM THE START, I am specifically referring to the shows that begin after the little kids shows that are on in the morning (like "Suite Life...," "iCarly," "Wizards of Waverly Place," "Hannah Montana," etc.). Also, I am aware that each of the listed “beefs” do not apply to each and every show on these networks, but they are a pretty good summation.

I am…

- Tired of adults being Homer Simpson… buffoons who are constantly being told what to do by kids or outsmarted by them. Seriously, is it too hard to portray parents/adults with a shred of dignity (and a clue, because apparently none have one regarding their kids lives or what it’s like to be a kid)?

- Tired of shows aimed at audiences of 8-13 years old focusing on dating. The last thing my 8 year old needs to be watching and thinking is important is some “cute boy.” Besides that, what’s the 11 year old on the show gonna do – date the “cute gurl” (sic) for 4 years… propose at 15… be engaged for 3 years… then marry at 18?!? Even if dating IS what some 11 year olds care about, should programming encourage it? Should parents encourage it by calling it “innocent” or “cute?” Is it? This particular beef can go on for a while, but I’ll stop now – you get my point.

- Tired of mixed messages. The majority of the lead characters are “beautiful” kids with “that” look (you know – the “it” look that matches all the popular magazine covers) and the majority of the shows revolve around being popular/beautiful and then every once in a while they throw in an Oprah/Tyra episode (you know – “be yourself,” “you’re beautiful inside – that’s what really matters,” etc.). So, which is it?

- Tired of adult themes toned down and made “kid-friendly.” They take a common theme found in romantic comedies, dramas, etc. and replace the cast with kids/teens. Examples: So-and-so wanting to impress someone (some 12 year old) so they lie and cheat and deceive to get their way. OR A certain girlfriend has been seen playing on the swings with another boy. OR A girl in love with two guys and unable to choose (will it be the “bad boy” or the “right boy”?). These are but a few examples shown in recent shows geared toward the 8-13 year old market.

- Tired of the kid actors growing up and feeling this obsessive need to shed their “good” girl or boy image. Miley Cyrus, Ashley Tisdale, Hilary Duff, Shia LaBeouf, etc. What in the world is wrong with doing the right thing and refusing to sell-out or compromise?

While I could easily keep this list going, I’ll stop simply because I’m tired of thinking about it. I do not ascribe much value to watching TV as it is (we do not watch a ton of it to begin with), but what little bit of enjoyment is there is quickly being sucked away by networks’ inability to provide shows that actually have a shred of redemptive value to them. I digress…

Until tomorrow…

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