Fox has premiered one of TV's most out-of-the-box crossover hits (for a TV series, that is) in its new show "Glee". Die hard fans (who call themselves "Gleeks") watch the show, catch them again online and download the choir-performed songs to their iPods. It's "Fame" for this generation, but instead of being based in a Julliard-esque school of performing arts it is based in a high school glee club (choir) who sing while performing choreographed moves (trust me - it is not dancing).
I was really excited about "Glee" and even programmed my DVR to make sure I would not miss an episode. The pilot episode was everything it promised to be and, despite some awkward moments, I was hooked (my wife moreso than me). The singing (while obviously staged - especially the musicians), quarkiness, characters, and flow were great. I was well on my way to being a "Gleek". Then came the second, third and fourth episodes and we watched the wheels fall off this wagon entirely. I have serious problems with "Glee" and no longer watch it because of how absolutely uncomfortable it makes me. Here are some of the key issues I have with the show:
It is a melting pot of culturally hot topics. Teen sex (major part of the story), pedophilia (somehow they've made that a joke), homosexuality, cheesy abstinence "promises", Christianity, inappropriate relationships (male students sleeping with and being groped by older, sexy women), a looming affair (it is almost a certainty that the main character, the glee club teacher, is going to leave his wife for a colleague) and more.
It seems the primary purpose of the show is to promote one worldview: "follow your heart" (which should have the subtitle: "regardless of the consequences"). Instead of encouraging virtue it takes the obvious fact that the world is broken and no one is perfect and embraces it, encouraging people to accept it and enjoy it. Instead of encouraging students to guard their heart they use teens as the vehicle for promoting reckless living.
The absolute mockery that is Christianity in the show. Christianity is represented in the show via the (as usual in Hollywood) snotty, pretentious, wealthy, beauty queen Head Cheerleader. To top it off she is head of the abstinence club that teaches the girls (this over-the-top-not-so-subtle joke is unfortunately very true of most girls and guys) to flaunt it, tease it, but don't give it up. This teasing, however, has now led to the Christian cheerleader sleeping with one of the glee members and ending up pregnant. See my take on TV and Christianity here.
The sexuality promoted is anything but subtle. In many of the musical numbers sex is the primary motive of the song choices and the choreography. Here is a small sample:
Male teachers and two male students form a singing group (funny name: "AcaFella" instead of Acapella) and perform the sexually-loaded song "Poison" for all the PTA moms
The students of the glee club sing the HIGHLY sexual song "Push It" by Salt-n-Peppa in front of the entire student body. They grind on each other, grope each other, they gyrate, and the student audience salivates. To see this clip (not recommended), click here: "Push It" from Glee.
Cheerleaders wash cars in cheer skirts and bikini tops while accompanying one of the glee club members as she sings about breaking windows in someone's car
Glee members sing Carrie Underwood's song "Last Name" (about a night of drinking and loose living with a guy whom she doesn't even know his last name) as the female adult in the performance occasionally grabs the male students' butts (I thought that was illegal?) and teases them.
Glee gets away with all of this (and is now beloved by audiences and critics alike) because they intentionally play it over the top (such as the former glee teacher who is fired in the pilot for inappropriate relationship with a male student later stalking Josh Groban on Facebook) and wrap it in the no boundaries genre of comedy. This way they can say "we're not really embracing that stuff, we are mocking it and showing the absurdity of it."
I am not laughing though. How can I? They take everything I am working diligently to protect my children from (and myself, for that matter) and embrace it. They mock the very faith I call vital and have very little regard for the welfare of teens - those who face this broken world daily and don't have life scripted for them. A life where all decisions have consequences (good and bad) and real people are emotionally fragile.
A few days ago, Bristol Palin’s boyfriend/fiancé (Levi Johnston) announced that he and Bristol were no longer together. While I despise gossip magazines that litter their pictures and false stories all over their covers, this story deserves a little attention.
When the teens announced that they were expecting a baby last August, it thrust them in front of the national spotlight because Bristol’s mom had just been announced as John McCain’s running mate in his presidential bid. So, I wrote a blog entry discussing the consequences of our decisions (you can read that here) and how they affect us in ways we never thought they would/could later (her words on her plans prior to finding out she was pregnant: “I never would have thought I would have been a mom and I would have never thought my mom would have been chosen for Vice President”).
Fast forward to February 16th – Bristol gives an interview with FOX News, stating that teens should wait “10 years” to have a child and that the ideal way to prevent teen pregnancy is abstinence; “BUT”, she continued, “it’s not realistic because [premarital sex] is so accepted among kids my age.” (See that video interview here) A note on this… of course it is unrealistic if your eyes and desires are only about you (and the people you use to judge your actions are your peers with their own self-seeking desires). Real love, however, takes REAL work… it’s hard! It requires you to put others (especially your partner) above yourself! Lust is easy… you see something, you like it, you take it… love requires commitment and integrity!
Then, fast forward to today – the new mommy and daddy are now no longer together. A few short months ago they were planning a wedding/future together. Now, they are “off.” Why? According to Levi, it’s because they (or he is) are not “mature” enough for marriage. (?!?!?)
This is probably the most mature decision the couple has made so far. Unfortunately, the timing of it now makes it an immature reaction. The time to decide if one is mature enough for a committed relationship is prior to taking/giving away each other's purity (minds, hearts, bodies, etc.), not after – and DEFINITELY not after you bring a child into the world. Their decision now is not about them, but about their child.
I’m not here, necessarily, to criticize Levi or Bristol – I have no idea what’s going on in their lives, nor is it my business. There may be legitimate reasons for them not to be married or be together, but my point is that those decisions need to come earlier (see my "purity blog entry here: “Abstinence is Wrong”).
TEENS: In her interview, Bristol says she hopes other teens learn from her story. I agree – I hope you do. More than just pregnancy, though (because avoiding teen pregnancy is not the key here; what about your own purity? Your husband’s/wife’s feelings? Your children’s?), I pray you see how quickly “love” and situations can change (and yes it can happen to you, for those that think it won’t because you/your significant other are different). I pray you select carefully those you share your heart with and seek fulfillment in a Godly, committed relationship that desires to worship God and enjoy true love.
PARENTS:See my blog entry on purity for how to teach/navigate your children/teens through these natural feelings. Click here to read it.
BRISTOL AND LEVI…I appreciate the love you both seem to have for your son and your desires to put him first. I know this season of your life is rough, but know that God’s grace, mercy and True Love are bigger and can prevail if you allow them to. I am praying for you two and your son.
When you encourage your teen to “abstain,” what is it, exactly, that you want them to abstain from? Yes, we should be advocates of sex after marriage for our children, but what about all the “stuff” that leads up to the sex? What about the intimate/lustful thoughts? The kissing? The making out? The touching? The caressing? The passion? The selling-out of the heart (allowing feelings to develop and grow for a person)?
Abstinence is wrong for three reasons: (1) it's all about limiting... God is not about limiting, but abundance (sex is a God-given intimacy that should be ENJOYED... in the right relationship, at the right time, with the right person)! (2) It has more of a push to save the world from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Both are good causes, but what about the rewards of loving your future spouse more than yourself? What about loving God and displaying that love with a Godly lifestyle? (3) It falls seriously short of confronting the real issue - the heart. It's not just a sex thing, but a heart thing. Who is ultimately being loved?
To a large degree, the pursuit of true love that champions patience, truth, right/Godly living, protection (as in protecting the other person in the relationship’s thoughts, hopes, bodies, etc.), etc. has been lost. To say it another way – the pursuit of purity has been lost because, relationally speaking, it is not God whom people try to please or worship in their relationships, but instead it is either their significant other or themselves.
As parents we know these struggles our teens face and it would be wise of us to empathize with them and let them know that what they think about and struggle with is common!! Sexual relationships are God-given and desiring to be part of one is NOT sinful… however, what happens from there is where the temptation and dangers lie. Checkout 1 Corinthians 10:12-13… it’s a great reminder to us that temptation is common and an encouragement to us that since it is common we are not alone (we aren’t the first to face it, and won’t be the last).
So how can we guide our kids/teens? What are some things we can do/say to lead them toward purity (loving God with all our heart, mind and soul – in other words, with the way we live our lives)?
#1... It is never too early to teach purity.
The key to teaching about purity is not about teaching rules or limits. Purity is about us seeking to worship God with every facet of our life (1 Cor. 10:31 – from the same chapter as the temptation passage above). It’s all about learning to love God more than anything else and seeing His world as He created it, especially marriage. It’s funny that the same culture that keeps selling the myth of self pleasure (find what makes you happy and go after it) is the same one where marriages are crumbling and true love seems to be an unobtainable dream. Rabbit Trail: Of course that culture has also influenced the church and now the divorce rate in the church is almost even with that of those outside of it. Why? Instead of seeking purity, people seek Burger King theology: “My way, right away” and lose sight of what God has in store for us in marriage… I digress.
Purity is something we ought to model and encourage our children from day one. SHOW THEM what it looks like to love God with every aspect of your life. DEMONSTRATE humility when you fall short and mess up by seeking forgiveness (how else will they come to know and understand unconditional love and forgiveness?). Get them excited about marriage by making your spouse the #2 priority in your life, with God being #1. Pray for them and their future spouse!
#2... Purity starts in our thoughts. What are our teens thinking about? What do they think about love, dating, physical touch, etc.?
YES – it is very awkward talking about oral sex, “feeling” under clothing, “French kissing,” lustful thoughts of the opposite sex and sexual intercourse (to name a few). BUT IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS! Our teens are hearing about these things, seeing it (it’s on the internet, in music videos, video games, movies and on public TV – the new 90210 on CW showed a suggested scene of oral sex in its series premiere), wondering about it and thinking about it a lot! Who is going to be their teacher? Who is going to teach them a good, solid, Biblical worldview on these matters? The parents – it is our calling and obligation… period.
As awkward as it is – start by bringing it up. Offer your teen an open forum! Tell them they can talk to you any time about any of those topics without consequence. If you haven’t heard from them about it after a while, bring it up again and check in on them.
There are two key ways to help teach them (and us as parents, for that matter) protect their thoughts: (1) Be cautious about what we let in (whether heard, seen, etc.), (2) teach about real love, real intimacy, Godly marriage, the privilege of loving someone more than themselves, etc. Again, we’re not trying to put restrictions on our teens (though there are times that is necessary since many times they aren’t capable of making the right choices because their minds are still developing), but to help them see down the road – about a life and marriage committed to God and one another.
#3... When it comes to touching – what do your teens think is “the limit” (how far is too far)? What do you think is “the limit”?
Based on 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (READ THIS PASSAGE!) and what I’ve personally enjoyed in marriage I am an advocate for no touching until marriage. This is a VERY prudish statement today, I know. Even Christians are probably asking out loud as they read this “NO TOUCHING?!?!?” or screaming “that’s not realistic!” I am aware it may seem out-of-touch (however, my question to that is “out of touch with who? God? The world where the divorce rate is climbing and people are opting out of getting married all together?”) and is far easier said than done. I’m tired of seeing marriages crumbling and I think it’s time we face the fact that going after what we want with little to no patience (or worship for that matter) isn’t getting us what we (or God) want in the long run. Most people desire an intimate relationship that lasts, but how can that happen when at its inception the relationship is founded on selfishness (fulfilling my desires now versus in a committed, loving marriage as God designed)?
“What’s wrong with innocent stuff, like kissing?” Nothing – God designed it. Three points, though: (1) What's "innocent" and according to what/who do you define innocent? Innocent is a relative term - it changes as our desires allow it to. (2) If a husband kisses a woman who is not his wife – most would agree there is a problem with it (the Bible calls it adultery). Teens may not have a spouse at the moment, but they will (most likely) one day. Instead of thinking about loving themselves by fulfilling their desires right now, why not teach them to love their spouse by respecting their own bodies (after all, after they’re married, that body belongs to their spouse)? (3) Why kiss? To show affection? Why not teach teens how to love and show affection without kissing? That helps protect them now, makes kissing that much more intimate with their spouse later and teaches them how to be affectionate in other ways other than just sex after they’re married.
To be transparent… Because most parents (if not all) did not meet this standard when they were dating (myself included), they feel as if it’s unfair to impose it on our kids. This could not be further from the truth!!! Our goal as parents is not to restrict our kids from fun – we are trying to enhance it! We are trying to help them enjoy the full benefits of a sexual relationship in the right relationship – marriage. To enjoy all that it has to offer while enjoying the benefit of a spouse that has pledged their commitment, loyalty and protection to them. We should not set the bar lower because we didn’t meet it. We use our story and shortcomings and the example of our present marriages now to encourage our kids to put their future spouses above their desires now.
#4... When it comes to influences, I think it’s important that parents take a proactive approach in their teens lives.
Ask them: “who are some of your favorite music artists?” “What are some of your favorite movies?” “What sort of things do you look for in friends?” Then ask follow up questions, like “Why?” I talked to a very “clean cut” girl the other day that is raised in church and has a SOLID family life. I asked her – “who is your favorite music artist?” and she replied “Soulja Boy” (whose music is filthy, degrading to women, morally bankrupt, etc.). Knowing her parents, I think they’d be beside themselves if they actually read some of his lyrics and knew what he was saying.
To be clear - I’m not about censorship, but I do think there is a time when parents NEED to be a censor. There is also a time for teaching and hearing out a teen, and using that conversation as a way of explaining why certain lyrics, philosophies, worldviews, etc. are wrong and what Truth really is and why they should embrace that over a selfish, narrow-minded worldview.
This concludes the Dating/Love/Relationships series… I hope you enjoyed it. I know a lot of what was said in it is often debated (after all, it’s not a new conversation). Even if you disagree with me on some or all points, I pray that at a minimum it at least challenged you and got you thinking. I know it has me… my wife and I talk almost on a daily basis about teaching this stuff to our own children. We don’t always agree, but we both go to bed together in prayer asking God for wisdom and praying for our children, that at the heart of all of this they will desire to love God more than anything else.
Beginning Monday I am going to try to start posting daily (mornings are my goal) about popular topics in culture, news, etc. Also, because of the frequency of the posts I will begin making them shorter, too. Stop by daily as a part of your news fix!
Want to be part of the conversation? Have a question or comment? Click here!
Ok, so it happened again. It’s been a little over a week since my last entry. I apologize. With summer here my life is packed with Youth Group planning and events, leaving very little time to blog. That will change in a few weeks when school resumes – so please be patient with me. :-)
Now on to PART 2 (and final part) of “Christian Teen Pics.” Ok, so we get it – many “Christian teen” lifestyles are anything but Godly. What can we (they) do to remedy this? While my list is no doubt unoriginal and far from exhaustive, it is a start and good reminder to us all about being CONTENDERS for the faith (Jude 3) and lovers of God (Deuteronomy 6). For the most part I address the list below to teens, but parents and others feel free to use it how you see fit.
1. Starts with Parents. Yes, teens make their own choices to live the lives they do, but as parents we have to check ourselves as well. (1) Ask yourself: “Are they simply copying what they see in my life?” (2) Talk with your teens – do you even know what’s on their pages? Their friends’ pages? What’s going on when they’re “just hanging out with friends?” (Note: Giving teens “their space” doesn’t mean being completely removed from their lives or online lives. It means giving them space to make decisions while guiding them and catching them in love when they miss the mark. Trust me – ignorance is NOT bliss.)
2.Your Future Spouse. What about your husband/wife? Yes, I know (teens)… you are not married. However, make no mistake about it – your demonstration of how much you love your future spouse starts NOW! I can’t imagine my wife (or online internet surfers either, for that matter) being comfortable with seeing suggestive pictures of me online (yes, I am having trouble not laughing at this even as I type it). Respect your future spouse enough to protect what will belong to them alone (read 1 Cor. 7:4).
3. Accountability. Get some friends in your life who are willing to say the hard stuff to you, who are willing to point out when you are crossing the line (checkout Prov. 22:6). Another way to help keep you accountable is making your online profiles (all of them) available to your parents to check out. Ask Godly adults or teens whose opinion you respect (because you know they’ll be honest with you) to give you feedback about your online profiles or lifestyle choices from time to time. Partner up with another Christian friend and challenge each other to live lives of truth and faith (hold each other accountable).
4.Challenge yourself to commit to God ABOVE ALL THINGS (even if it means not doing the things everyone else labels as “ok”, “good” or “acceptable”). Our loyalty is to our Creator above all else – to include friends.
5.Love God. Learn now what your faith and relationship with God mean to you. Learn to love it more than anything else. Demonstrate that relationship with God in your other relationships and character (to include your private and online life).
6.NEVER COMPROMISE (never be willing to give up) ANY part of your relationship with God for anything else. Remember – sin takes ALWAYS takes us further than we want to go, leaves us longer than we want to stay and costs us far more than we were willing to pay.
Now the decision is yours. What kind of Christian teen are you going to be? The kind that lives one life in title (“I’m a Christian” or “Jesus Freak” or “Washed by the Blood” or “Sold Out Believer” or whatever other title you might use to describe your faith) and another in practice (talk like heaven and live like hell)? Or are you going to be the kind that sets the standard and challenges their friends to live lives of hope, as well? You can’t have both… a decision must be made. Trust me, the world around you can already tell what your decision is just by the way you live your life…
And that’s what “Christian Teen Pics - What Now” is all about Charlie Brown…
I'm a Jesus Freak, for real! I'm sold out, bought out follower of the One True Lord, Jesus Christ.
I love my wife - no doubt about it! She's my #1 girl and always will be. I love my 3 kids - they make me smile! The best day in the world is spending time with the four of them.
I love discussing the arts (especially film and music) and sharing hope found in Christ.
I'm a nut... love laughing, sarcasm and love talking with witty people. I'm sure there's more, but that's kinda me in a nutshell *"look this is me in a nutshell... how did i get in here?"*
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