Don't Be Revolted Just Yet - You May Have More in Common with the "Balloon-Boy" Parents Than You Think

By now most people in the nation (the world?) know of the Heenes, though most probably still only know them as "Balloon-Boy's Parents". Like many across the nation, I was mesmerized by the footage and unfolding story of Falcon, the 6 year old boy who was rumored to have been stuck in his father's weather balloon. I prayed hard for the young man and his parents, who I assumed were worried sick. Then came the reports and images revealing he was not in the balloon, but had possibly been in the basket under the balloon, which pictures showed plummeting back to the earth; I was devistated. I could not fathom what those parents were going through. Fast forward a bit later - the boy is safe in his attic and the parents "relieved" while secretly beginning to listen to the cash registers in their minds go "KA-CHING!"

It was a hoax. A story made up to gain notoriety and hopefully a reality show for their family. The emotional agony once held by the nation has now become a feeling of anger and disbelief: "How in the world could parents consider it in the best interest of their child/children to exploit them and make light of their safety for their own personal gain?"

Sadly, though - if we stop long enough to think about it, parents using (or "helping") their children for personal gain is all too common a story. Too often today parents willingly (though maybe unintentionally) position their children to be their meal ticket one day. The only difference between those parents and the Heenes is that the Heene's plan was intentionally played out on live television (not to mention they lied and violated several local and federal laws). Here are but a few examples of how some parents willingly capitalize on their children's interests/talents:

• One of America's biggest examples: Sports! Practice 4-6 days a week, games, hired "specialist" coaches, sports camps, trainers, gym memberships, etc. Sure, the kids like the sports, but at the heart of most of the kids, the desire to succeed is from the dreams and wishes of the parents - in other words, they want to make mom and dad proud.

• Beauty pageants. Fake eyelashes, fake hair (extensions or what-have-you), tanning, makeup, posture classes, personal trainers, personal beauty coaches, "healthy diets," constant pageants, talent classes (music, dance, singing, twirling, gymnastics or whatever), etc.

• Acting. Acting camps/classes, theater groups, constant auditions, "studying" (obsessing) about current Hollywood culture, dance classes, music classes, personal acting coaches, personal trainers, etc.

• Academic achievements. Personal tutors, excessive standards for grades ("nothing less than an 'A'"), special academic clubs, extra long homework sessions, extra trips to the library, additional assignments not given in school, pressure to apply to the Ivy League schools, etc.

The list could go on, but you get the idea. Unfortunately, this is too common a story in the lives of many parents. They consider themselves good parents for investing so much time and money in their child, but motivationally one must wonder who all the work and accolades are really for. This is not to say the parents are bad parents, either... just misguided. Instead of nurturing and guiding a child's desires or interests, they go overboard with ridiculous standards and push their own agendas, dreams or desires (maybe well-intentioned dreams for their children) on to their children.

I have no doubt that for the bulk of the parents who become part of this world that their chief desire is to provide the best life and future for their children. I believe they sincerely love their children, the Heenes included, and only want to provide the best for their present and future. However, I think ALL parents would be wise to reevaluate the future they desire for their children: what does that future look like? Is it what is really best for my children? What must we sacrifice to achieve that? Do we sacrifice too much and lose who we are as a family in the process?

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds." (Matthew 16:26-27)

Sports, acting, studying/learning, etc. are not evil endeavors. Matter of fact there is great value in many of those pursuits; however, there is a line we must draw. When they become so important that they become the top priority of our lives (evidenced by how we spend our time, money or resources) we must stop and reconsider our priorities. Have these endeavors replaced God in our lives or worship? Have we redefined who we are (or lead our children to define themselves) based on these achievements? Have these endeavors become idols? Checkout my post on this very common issue (in all of our lives!): "Turns Out Our Hearts Are Idol Factories".

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

Image credit: REUTERS/KUSA
_______________

Are You a "GLEEk"?

Fox has premiered one of TV's most out-of-the-box crossover hits (for a TV series, that is) in its new show "Glee". Die hard fans (who call themselves "Gleeks") watch the show, catch them again online and download the choir-performed songs to their iPods. It's "Fame" for this generation, but instead of being based in a Julliard-esque school of performing arts it is based in a high school glee club (choir) who sing while performing choreographed moves (trust me - it is not dancing).

I was really excited about "Glee" and even programmed my DVR to make sure I would not miss an episode. The pilot episode was everything it promised to be and, despite some awkward moments, I was hooked (my wife moreso than me). The singing (while obviously staged - especially the musicians), quarkiness, characters, and flow were great. I was well on my way to being a "Gleek". Then came the second, third and fourth episodes and we watched the wheels fall off this wagon entirely. I have serious problems with "Glee" and no longer watch it because of how absolutely uncomfortable it makes me. Here are some of the key issues I have with the show:

• It is a melting pot of culturally hot topics. Teen sex (major part of the story), pedophilia (somehow they've made that a joke), homosexuality, cheesy abstinence "promises", Christianity, inappropriate relationships (male students sleeping with and being groped by older, sexy women), a looming affair (it is almost a certainty that the main character, the glee club teacher, is going to leave his wife for a colleague) and more.
  

• It seems the primary purpose of the show is to promote one worldview: "follow your heart" (which should have the subtitle: "regardless of the consequences"). Instead of encouraging virtue it takes the obvious fact that the world is broken and no one is perfect and embraces it, encouraging people to accept it and enjoy it. Instead of encouraging students to guard their heart they use teens as the vehicle for promoting reckless living.

• The absolute mockery that is Christianity in the show. Christianity is represented in the show via the (as usual in Hollywood) snotty, pretentious, wealthy, beauty queen Head Cheerleader. To top it off she is head of the abstinence club that teaches the girls (this over-the-top-not-so-subtle joke is unfortunately very true of most girls and guys) to flaunt it, tease it, but don't give it up. This teasing, however, has now led to the Christian cheerleader sleeping with one of the glee members and ending up pregnant. See my take on TV and Christianity here.

• The sexuality promoted is anything but subtle. In many of the musical numbers sex is the primary motive of the song choices and the choreography. Here is a small sample:

1. Male teachers and two male students form a singing group (funny name: "AcaFella" instead of Acapella) and perform the sexually-loaded song "Poison" for all the PTA moms
2. The students of the glee club sing the HIGHLY sexual song "Push It" by Salt-n-Peppa in front of the entire student body. They grind on each other, grope each other, they gyrate, and the student audience salivates. To see this clip (not recommended), click here: "Push It" from Glee.
3. Cheerleaders wash cars in cheer skirts and bikini tops while accompanying one of the glee club members as she sings about breaking windows in someone's car
4. Glee members sing Carrie Underwood's song "Last Name" (about a night of drinking and loose living with a guy whom she doesn't even know his last name) as the female adult in the performance occasionally grabs the male students' butts (I thought that was illegal?) and teases them.

Glee gets away with all of this (and is now beloved by audiences and critics alike) because they intentionally play it over the top (such as the former glee teacher who is fired in the pilot for inappropriate relationship with a male student later stalking Josh Groban on Facebook) and wrap it in the no boundaries genre of comedy. This way they can say "we're not really embracing that stuff, we are mocking it and showing the absurdity of it."

I am not laughing though. How can I? They take everything I am working diligently to protect my children from (and myself, for that matter) and embrace it. They mock the very faith I call vital and have very little regard for the welfare of teens - those who face this broken world daily and don't have life scripted for them. A life where all decisions have consequences (good and bad) and real people are emotionally fragile.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

________________

A RADICAL MESSAGE FOR PARENTS: Settle for Less and Receive More!

This is one of the most powerful article's I've ever read on parenting teens. It is a must read for ALL parents of youth/children - either you have a teen or a soon-to-be teen. There are things that we all need to rethink when it comes to discipling and training our children and this article gives a great foundation to start!

I have read some of Paul Tripp's other books and now plan to add this one (Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp) to my reading list, too - and encourage you to do the same! Here are a few quotes or excerpts from the article (read it in full here - it's a little lengthy, but take the time, please! You will not be sorry for the investment of time):

" What often gets in the way of parenting teenagers is the idolatry of their mother and father."

"The book of Proverbs is very clear in reminding us that teenagers don’t usually hunger for wisdom and correction. I’ve never had one of my kids say to me, “As I was riding the bus home from school I was thinking, ‘Dad, you’re a really wise man. I’d just love to sit at your feet and drink in some more of your wisdom,’ or ‘Dad, I realize that when you correct me you are showing me your love. Would you like to correct me some more?’ ” So what should be my goal here? As a parent I realize that wisdom is crucial to pleasing God, and yet it’s not the thing for which my teenager tends to hunger. So now I’ve got my job description. It’s to sell my teenager something that he is not seeking. And so I decide that I’ll model being a wise man. I want to show him that wisdom is a beautiful and wonderful thing. And I want to sell wisdom to him so that he becomes a really keen consumer. The point I’m making is that in each area of teenage struggle there’s wonderful parental opportunity.

Another characteristic of teenagers is that they tend to be very legalistic. They don’t particularly love God’s law, they frequently debate the boundaries and they’re very boundary oriented. I tell people that if God’s law is like a fence, then my kids grew up with fence marks on their faces. As teens they were always pressing against the fence. Now you don’t solve the problem of teenage legalism by debating where the boundary is. Why? Because a child who is pressing his face against the fence is believing a very significant lie. The lie is that the good stuff is out there and God is keeping him from it. What I need to do is turn his body to the inside of the yard and show him the glory of what God has called us to."

"We also must realize that every teenager is a sinner and is trying to learn how to live in God’s world, learning what it means to be godly and learning the dangers of sin. There’s no possible way that that won’t have a huge impact on my life. And that’s why people don’t like their teenagers."

Read the full article here.

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

_____________________________