Ok, so I made my weekly shopping trip to the grocery store today with my youngest daughter (2 years old). Typically this is a trip in which I craftily navigate the aisles with list in hand so that I can try to get what we need as quick as possible (though I've got a lot of my mom in me, so I also want a deal and trying to be thrifty often slows my progress). After two hours (obviously not my fastest of trips) my shopping experience was drawing to a close and my baby and I were grabbing our last item (some ice cream!)... then it happened.
As my I was looking through the Breyer's, trying to select between Fat Free Chocolate or forgetting health consciousness and grabbing whatever I wanted (I chose neither and instead opted for Skinny Cow Chocolate Cones - good stuff!), a woman approached the same freezer to choose a frozen dessert. No sooner had she walked up that two guys passed between us taking several long, childish looks at her. One of them then looked at me and lipped silently (so she wouldn't know he was talking about her) "is that your wife?!?!". Puzzled by the question, I shook my head "no." He then replied in a whisper "I was gonna say... [putting his thumb up indicating approval] nice job, bro!! She [sic] hot!!!".
WHAT?!?! What if she were my wife? In what universe would I (or hopefully any guy) be proud that some random guy (or even one I know) just walked by and stared at my wife, as if undressing her with his eyes, then let me know he approved of her and our marriage? How is that complimentary in anyway? How did he think that would be a manly thing to do (especially with our daughter, if we were married or my wife was the one being oogled as if she were eye candy to be sensually enjoyed by anyone who walks by, right next to me)?
Men/boys... it's getting old. Step up.
***EDITED BELOW***
Need further evidence? This was posted in the comments section by a teenage girl not even two hours after I published the above post:
"That is really frustrating.
I'm a 17 year old girl. Apparently I look a lot older. I don't dress provocatively and don't wear make- up, but yet when I go places sometimes guys ask me if I'm married, etc. It's even more frustrating when I catch them looking at me or have other people tell me that guys were "looking me up and down," when my friends and I go somewhere. There are some places that I don't even want to go to anymore, because of this. To me, it seems as though most guys only want one thing [sex], and that is really annoying."
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
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2 comments:
That is really frustrating.
I'm a 17 year old girl. Apparently I look a lot older. I don't dress provocatively and don't wear make- up, but yet when I go places sometimes guys ask me if I'm married, etc. It's even more frustrating when I catch them looking at me or have other people tell me that guys were "looking me up and down," when my friends and I go somewhere. There are some places that I don't even want to go to anymore, because of this. To me, it seems as though most guys only want one thing [sex], and that is really annoying.
To "I Agree":
A couple things...
1) Thank you so much for the comment and sharing your story! This message is even stronger when it's accompanied by the heart of a young woman and her story.
2) I am so sorry that you are having these difficulties. I pray in the future you find a Godly man who enjoys you for all of you (especially your - I assume - desire to love and honor God) and wants to raise a family with you that desires the same.
3) As hard as it is for you, I'm glad you are aware of it and do notice. Unfortunately, too many girls (and women) are naive or unknowing in this area (or, sadly, think nothing of it saying "who cares? It's not that big a deal."). Knowing allows you to be selective in who you let into your life and helps you to guard your heart! Even better is having friends that know/notice too and look out for you (hopefully it bothers them just as much as it does you).
4)If you didn't already, checkout the link I have at the end of the post (it's linked to the "Step up" comment I make in closing); the blog post is called "Time to Man Up...". It is written for men/boys, but is useful for girls as well (either in helping them "know" or challenging them in certain areas). If nothing else, it might be a useful tool for you to relay to friends.
God Bless you! Thank you for the apparent standards you set in your life and desiring more of guys!
~ Christian the Christian (Psalm 1:1-3)
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