"Til (In)Convenience Do Us Part"

"Divorce Expert" Jill Brooke recently wrote an article entitled "For Those Getting Married: Banish 'Til Death Do Us Part'". Citing a 50% divorce rate she claims that the idea of death as the only reason for divorce encourages laziness within marriage, thus leading to the crumbling of half of marriages.

I agree with Mrs. Brooke in her conclusion, but not her premise. I think her claim that marriages collapse because of the phrasing "til death do us part" in their wedding vows is absurd. I think it would have probably been more wise of her to cite couples' failure to uphold the previous portion of traditional vows ("in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer...") since that is the conclusion she ultimately draws. It is not the death part of the vow that cripples marriages, but (as she correctly states) their failure to serve, pursue, court, romance and live for one another. Instead spouses put themselves at the center of their own universe and leave their beloved spouse behind as they pursue selfish pursuits.

FOR THOSE GETTING MARRIED: EMBRACE 'TIL DEATH DO US PART'

The solution to the divorce problem isn't banishing the pledge of commitment or rewording it. It is fulfilling it and fighting to ensure its success. Here are a few reasons why banishing the phrase is a bad idea (and a proverbial straw man):

1. The problem isn't the phrase - it's the failure to honor it.

2. Banishing the phrase is banishing Him who created marriage - God. Marriage is a covenant relationship between man and wife and God. Before God, man and wife covenant (unending promise) with God to become one flesh together and to live for one another as they both live for God. Biblically, the only thing that ends a covenant is death.

3. Removing the phrase does not promote accountability to the marriage relationship (as Mrs. Brooke states), it removes trust and confidence in the union. The new vow will be "I commit to you until you are no longer committed to me or our union is no longer convenient." If a couple wants to remain accountable to their vow then they ought to: (1) read together what the Author of marriage says about real love, marriage and commitment/covenant, (2) check-in with one another regularly and ask "how am I doing loving, serving, pursuing and ministering to you spiritually? Do I demonstrate to you and those around us that you are valuable to me?"

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

As always, feel free to email Christian the Christian at christianthechristian.c2@gmail.com.

Pic borrowed from here.
_____________________

“WARNING!” “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!” “ALERT! ALERT!” “CODE RED”

I recently found this article online, called “Dating Question: Are You Having an Emotional Affair” and could not help but comment on it. (READ THIS ARTICLE!)

I think this article is right on. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teen, college student or married – this article is for you. So often people do not realize they are crossing any lines with the opposite sex because, let’s face it, as people we can justify anything we want.

“He’s/she’s just a friend”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting”

“It’s just talk… there’s nothing more to it.”

“What? I can trust them… I just need someone to talk to…”

For Teens and Singles… this is a valuable article for you in that it helps you see where you may be crossing the line emotionally. Not keeping our words, intentions or emotional attachments in check is dangerous territory. Check out my blog entry called “Abstinence is Wrong” for more on this.

For Married Folk… this is an extremely helpful article for you. Rarely do people intentionally set out to have an affair; they occur over a period of time where we slowly give part of ourselves to someone other than our spouse. REMEMBER – the greatest lessons we teach our children is the one’s we LIVE OUT in front of them. Teach them what it is to love, cherish and honor your spouse (even when they’re not around them).

Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!

_____________