Showing posts with label Girls Gone Wild. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls Gone Wild. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

"College: It's All About Gettin' Your Drink On!"

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 5

Considering today's social norms it really should not be much of a surprise that incidents of binge drinking is on the rise; however, when you see that of the college students polled almost HALF (45%) have engaged in the activity in the past month it is cause for some serious alarm.


Binge drinking is the consumption of alcohol with no thought of the consequences or responsibilities involved in drinking. It is drinking to the point of passing out, blacking out, losing most cognitive faculties (namely the ability to think rationally) or, worse yet, poisoning or death. It is one of the leading causes for vehicle deaths among college students and assaults (to include sexual assaults).


The article I linked above posed some very good reasons why this increase is happening, but of those listed I believe the most significant reason (that even they point out) is: culture. It is socially condoned, accepted, approved of and encouraged (especially in the media) to “be young,” party, “throw your inhibitions to the wind” and forget the world a while. Rap artist Asher Roth even wrote a tribute song to the socially accepted party scene called "I Love College" (see the lyrics here - explicit lyrics!). Drinking, getting hammered, trashed or wasted is an accepted, social norm - a part of life. Even those who have committed crimes while drunk are more easily forgiven than those doing it sober (as if the drinking excuses the actions or make said actions understandable).


Most teens and college students have no clue how to actually have fun without “liquid courage” (hence the reason Girls Gone Wild has copious amounts of alcohol on hand when filming… very few girls would do what they do on camera without the alcohol). For those that do try to have fun sans alcohol see the fun they have as a lesser fun because the rest of their peers are out drinking or often feel like outcasts when the rest of their peers would rather be at the bar or club (or hosting drunken parties).


Just recently I spoke with a 20 year old female college student who has living arrangements with family but plans to move out in the fall to “have a real college experience.” I asked her what’s a “real college experience” and she said having parties and such all the time (she wanted to live in a house that was a center for partying among her circle of friends and acquaintances). I asked her why she thought that was so important and she said “because it’s what you do when you’re young. This is the only time in your life to do that sort of thing.” She has bought into a social lie and despite my warnings and pleadings with her that the lifestyle she is choosing will have consequences (if nothing else later when she, as a mother, begs and pleads with her own children to avoid this lifestyle) she shrugged me off saying “I won’t let that happen – I’ll be smart about it.”


Of course she will be different. They’ll all be different. That’s this culture’s responsible mantra: “just don’t let it be you.”


To Those Who Are Part of This Lifestyle Now (or want to be): I know consequences won’t happen to you – you will party through college (and/or high school) and graduate with honors, get an illustrious career and have the All-American family. Let’s just say for a moment that “it” does happen to you though (consequences). Let’s say any of the following happen:


  • You drunkenly decide to drive (you never would have done that sober) and you are caught. Or worse yet, kill or hurt someone. Was it worth it?

  • You pass out drunk at a party and are assaulted. Was it worth it?

  • You host a party at which someone is assaulted or leaves drunk and kills or injures someone. Was it worth it?

  • You’re caught drinking and driving and lose your license and people won’t hire you because of your record. Was it worth it?

  • Your kid one day asks you “Dad/Mom – did you party and get drunk in high school? Can I?” or as they are strolling the internet (you have no control over who puts what on the internet) or old pics and stumble across pictures of you drunk in compromising acts. Was it worth it?


Many times our picture of the end justify our means; namely, "I won’t get hurt and no one else will either, therefore, it is worth it." Or "something might happen, but it won’t be that bad and I’ll learn my lesson then." Problem is, you have NO control over anything; no control over what happens or what the consequences are. Once the fire is lit, the damage is done. You cannot undo it.


PARENTS: Forget the ridiculous conversation about whether drinking is Biblical or not. It doesn’t matter. Teach your teens and children to love God with all their hearts (Phil. 4:8). Teach them to ask about everything they do: “is what I’m about to do the best possible way for me to love and worship God?” Be living examples of what that question looks like.


Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!


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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Thou Shalt Have Steamy Sex?!?!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009 2

I don’t know when it happened, but somehow, someway sex has become a taboo topic in the church. Teens are scared to say “sex” and adults squirm in their pews when it’s said. Teens and adults alike will watch show after show and listen to song after song that talk about sex (many times laughing or singing along), but “talk about it in the church? That’s uncomfortable.”


Recently a Catholic Priest, Ksawery Knotz, published a new book entitled Sex As You Don't Know It: For Married Couples Who Love God. In it he writes that there is nothing wrong with a steamy sex life; even going so far as saying it is a “good thing.” Maybe it’s because he’s a Catholic Priest writing on the subject, or because of the extreme traditionalism of the Catholic church, but for some reason it was newsworthy enough for Fox News to publish a story on the book. Regardless of why it was covered in the news I am excited because it opens the channels of communication again for this great love story that God created!


God created sex. As I joke with couples in counseling: it was not man or woman’s idea. Adam and Eve weren’t sitting around the Garden of Eden bored saying “so now what do we do?” and then stumbled into sex. God created them differently (man and woman) a placed a desire for one another in each of them. As soon as Adam saw Eve he was hooked (cue the old joke: he saw her and said "Whoa! Man!" Thus she’ll be known as ‘woman’.”)! The sexual relationship was designed by God to be one of the defining parts of a marital relationship (one of the key elements that make it so different from any other relationship). Men and women were created with a desire for one another already built in them (so-to-speak). They then enjoy the fullest physical and emotional pleasure possible with one another inside the protected, safe and committed marriage relationship.


In a world that has no boundaries for sex – that embraces girls going wild, open marriages, pornography, sexual dating relationships, etc. God’s design for the sexual relationship in marriage has been forgotten, misunderstood and misrepresented. “Enjoyable sex” between and man and wife seems ungodly now (like God doesn’t want man and wife to enjoy sexual intimacy - not sure how that belief came to be) or as if it is an oxymoron. It has become nothing more than a comic’s punch line: either (1) you never have sex once you are married, or (2) it becomes stale and unexciting.


BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT GOD HAD IN MIND for husbands and wives!!


God created sex (between a husband and wife in a covenant marriage) to be exciting, captivating, fun, pleasurable, enjoyable, lovely, passionate, engaging, intimate, creative, moving, enthralling, enchanting and, yes, even steamy! 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 tells husbands and wives that they belong to one another. It tells them to be sure to fulfill one another (yes, sexually) and to make sure they do so REGULARLY! Not out of obligation, but out of passion and love and dedication to your beloved spouse who is equally committed to you.


SINGLES or COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER (UNMARRIED): I understand your fear of marriage. In a world that has completely lost what it means to be married, with a divorce rate that has climbed to 50% and with so many marriages that seem to struggle (including in the church) I can understand your fear from wanting to be “that couple.” However, know that you are not protecting yourselves or your relationship. You are missing out!! God has crafted us in such a way that we crave intimacy from our spouse; hence the reason husbands and wives become “one flesh” – they are so intimately wound together that neither knows where one starts and the other stops! When we live with someone outside of marriage we steal from God what He designed for us and our own good and turn it into something He never desired for us. We actually set ourselves up for hurt.


HUSBANDS AND WIVES WHO ARE STRUGGLING: Know that you are NOT alone. This world and its desire to corrupt what God made for good and pleasure has made it difficult for many couples. However, having a successful, loving and passionate marriage is not an impossible feat! For those struggling, I recommend a couple resources: (1) the movie “Fireproof” (watch it together and then go through the book “The Love Dare”), (2) the book “God on Sex” by Daniel Akin (this is a POWERFUL and wonderful book based on Song of Solomon from the Bible), (3) take a small weekend trip together with your spouse; use it as a trip to pour into one another and love one another as intimately and deeply as you know how to, (4) transparency! Sit with your pastor (or go to a local church and speak to one if you aren’t in church) and share with him your struggles as a husband and wife and seek help in restoring your marriage.


Want to join the conversation? Click here to comment or ask a question!


If you would like to talk with me personally about a struggling relationship, feel free to email me at christianthechristian.c2@gmail.com!


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