I think the time has come for me to admit it... I am a fan of reality TV. I've tried to deny it for some time, but as my wife and I were surveying our favorite TV shows I realized the majority of them were reality shows, for different reasons (we don't watch much TV, but much of what we watch, it turns out, have been/are reality shows). Kid Nation, though no longer on (great material for talking about matters of Faith with my children), Survivor (my all-time favorite! It always amazes me how far people will go, and how much they will sacrifice for the right price and better yet, to see those who refuse to compromise), American Idol (though this does occasionally wear on my nerves, I enjoy the back stories and those who use the platform for eternal purposes- such as Mandisa), Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares (I love watching family-run restaurants who are falling apart pull it together as a business, and especially a family), Beauty and the Geek (not last season's, but the ones before where "beauties" were challenged to look and dive deeper than superficial looks - didn't care much for the Geek makeover part, though it was entertaining to see), and some others on occasion (if time allows - I don't necessarily set the DVR for them).
Why I like reality TV.
I know "reality" is not reality; however, there is something to be said for taking real people as they are and putting them in pressure situations and seeing what they're made of. That is why I love Survivor so much - real people forced to be in close proximity with other real people in less than ideal situations to "outwit, outlast and outplay" the others for $1 million. What are they willing to do/not do for the LARGE sum of money? Will they lie? Steal? Cheat? Hurt someone? Deceive? Something I tell people all the time - trials reveal much about one's true faith. Scripture says it like this: "Out of the abundance of our hearts, our mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). In other words - whatever we've filled our hearts with will come out (either trickling or gushing)... if it's selfishness, ungodliness, hate, contentious thoughts, etc. - then that's the abundance that will come pouring out (trials put our real-selves out there to be seen). If it's patience, kindness, gentleness, etc. (fruits of the spirit, Galatians 5) - then that's the abundance that will be seen and demonstrated in rough times and good times. I love to root for those who refuse to compromise their integrity, dignity, faith (though most people of faith on TV are not genuine, and often misrepresent Christ, and the church, entirely), even if it costs them the competition, the prize or whatever.
Some shining moments of Reality TV for me:
- American Idol. A girl ("Bikini Girl") shows up to her audition for AI two episodes ago in a TINY bikini (producers made sure to show her from all angles - cheap!). Usually when someone shows up in a gimmicky outfit it means they can't sing and just want to exploit themselves for 2 seconds of fame (being on the rejects video). This girl, however, sang fairly well and made it to the next round (WHY the bikini and cheap sell-out?!?!). My favorite moment for her audition came when the new judge called her out for exploiting herself (noting that the male judges won't remember/recognize her with clothes on) by asking her name "because to them all you are is 'Top' and 'Bottom'". Score one for modesty!
- So You Think You Can Dance. A youth pastor (if memory serves me correctly) auditions and performs a dance that tells a story from the Old Testament (I forget which one). As soon as the judges find out it's Bible-based the hating began and he represented well! He never backed down, he didn't become disrespectful, he defended his choice to have his female backup dancers clothed and told them he refused to give up his faith for a competition. Score one for true Christianity on TV!
- American Idol. A 27-year-old man lives at home with mom to take care of her due to her medical condition. No dating. No partying. No personal life. Is it a sacrifice? You better believe it. Does it consume his life? It IS his life - all he does is care for her. But he's a Biblical picture of what it means to care for "widows and orphans" (a challenge given to the family). I do not think he's a Christian, but it wouldn't be the first time a nonbeliever was used by God to "confound the wise." (Note: I'm not saying this is the case, but it certainly is a beautiful demonstration of real love.) Score one for real love and family!
- Survivor. Any time a contestant remains true from beginning to end, refusing to compromise who they really are (I'm not talking about the "this is who I am - I don't change for no one" arrogance, but true integrity). Score one for true integrity!
Shows That Grate My Nerves:
Any bachelor/dating/love/marriage show. It amazes me the lengths people go to to win the affection of some stranger and how poorly love is represented on the shows. Just pull some people out of their real lives (away from their family and friends who they will eventually return to) and give them alcohol, a hot tub, absurd getaways with a stranger, opportunities for sick make-out sessions and you have a romance reality show. *CUE my audible "BLAH" and cup of water because I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.* This is a blog post of its own, so I'll depart from this one for now (TEENS in my youth group - we will be going through this a little more in depth in the next couple weeks in a new series called "The Love Myth"; PARENTS - teach and demonstrate to your teens/kids what real love looks like).
Note for Parents:
Reality TV is a great tool for teaching Biblical values. As kids watch people make decisions and reap the benefits/consequences of those choices it provides a fascinating conversation starter (and a great way for you to check your own Biblical worldview). Often times we find ourselves rooting for who the producers of the show brainwash us to root for (the one doing the deceiving, playing the game - as if real life should not be a factor, the relationship that has only superficial foundations versus one that is based in a Biblical definition of love, etc.). I love watching appropriate Reality shows with my kids and talking about the Bible as it applies in real life! NOTE: This only applies to shows with any redemptive qualities to them. Many of the love shows do not have this and could be more harmful than helpful for young, impressionable minds. Also - don't forget about the more impressive lessons that can be learned by kids/teens by you TURNING OFF the TV and spending quality time with them!
That's all for now... blessings!!!!
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2 comments:
I have enjoyed reading your posts, but question your advice in this one. Watch reality TV? I'm sorry, but whatever redeeming qualities you may think they have, "reality" TV is littered with self-indulgent, selfish, self-seeking personalities. I want my kids to seek out God, not self. I don't want to expose them to the outfits (aka bikini girl), the language, the morals of 90% of those on TV. Yes, I realize they see them in real life. But why put more negative influences in their heads? "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." I would add, watch such things on TV. (As you can guess, we don't watch a whole lot of TV because almost nothing fits that standard. So do I lower my standard? I do not. I raise my expectations and look to the Lord.)
First, thank you for reading the posts and sharing your heart! I appreciated every word you wrote, and in many ways could not agree with you more. At the end of my post (on reality TV), I advocated the stronger lesson (than watching TV together as a tool) is "turning [it] off." My children do not watch the shows I mentioned for the very reasons you stated. Then again, they are 8, 6, and 2 years old. In re-reading the post, I think my "fascination" came across more as a love affair with reality TV - which is not at all the case for me or my wife. We do enjoy watching some TV, but it is not central to our home (which I think is how it came across in the blog post).
Regarding the seeking of God and not self, I couldn't agree more. This is mine and my wife's daily prayer for (and with) our own children. Our desire is that they grow to be Godly adults who "love the Lord God with all their hearts, minds, and souls." In a world where technology/information is what it is and morality is based solely on the moment and fleeting happiness, this is easier said than done. We as adults know this all to well. Since so many things capture OUR hearts' attentions (something God knew/knows all too well - evidenced in all of Scripture... Adam and Eve, David, the Kings, Paul, etc.), our goal/calling as parents is to help our children:
(1) learn to love God more than anything else (Deut. 6:5-6, Matt. 22:37-38)...this is better learned by seeing it from their parents than merely heard,
(2) learn to love His blessings and provisions more than those that fade away (Matt. 6:19-20, Deut. 6:20-24)
(3) learn to love and serve others with unconditional love (Matt. 22:39),
(4) learn the importance of and how to navigate through the wealth of Godless information and obsessions and dwell on those that are True, pure, lovely and praise-worthy (Phil. 4:8) - as you said
(5) learn to want and desire love as God designed it... to look forward to marriage and all its benefits/rewards and the ability to worship God in a very unique way through that relationship (Eph. 5:22-32, Hosea, 1 Cor. 7:1-5)
(6) learn to live a disciplined life (1 Cor. 9:27).
Much of what is on TV is the reality we all live in, in real life (in particular the philosophies of life). For our children and teens, however, this "loose living" is new to them... not something they may be used to seeing/hearing about (I see this even now from my 8 and 6 year old who come home every day with new stories/words). In many respects this lifestyle is appealing (especially teens - whether we want to admit it or not) because that lifestyle goes after immediate gratification.
Who better for them to talk to about it and help guide them through it than their parents? When it comes to TV, my point was that it gives a somewhat safer environment to hash those things/temptations/thoughts out than in the aftermath/consequences of their poor decisions. In some regards, though, the shows are a greater detriment than help (as you say - and I agree).
This blog post was simply an idea (one approach) to teaching children/teens; a suggestion that uses what is probably already in their homes as a tool for teaching.
Queen of the Castle - thank you so much for your input. Your words challenged me and I hope to hear from you again. Pray for my wife and I, and we'll pray for your family. Keep reading! :-)
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