Friday, October 23, 2009

Don't Be Revolted Just Yet - You May Have More in Common with the "Balloon-Boy" Parents Than You Think

Friday, October 23, 2009

By now most people in the nation (the world?) know of the Heenes, though most probably still only know them as "Balloon-Boy's Parents". Like many across the nation, I was mesmerized by the footage and unfolding story of Falcon, the 6 year old boy who was rumored to have been stuck in his father's weather balloon. I prayed hard for the young man and his parents, who I assumed were worried sick. Then came the reports and images revealing he was not in the balloon, but had possibly been in the basket under the balloon, which pictures showed plummeting back to the earth; I was devistated. I could not fathom what those parents were going through. Fast forward a bit later - the boy is safe in his attic and the parents "relieved" while secretly beginning to listen to the cash registers in their minds go "KA-CHING!"

It was a hoax. A story made up to gain notoriety and hopefully a reality show for their family. The emotional agony once held by the nation has now become a feeling of anger and disbelief: "How in the world could parents consider it in the best interest of their child/children to exploit them and make light of their safety for their own personal gain?"

Sadly, though - if we stop long enough to think about it, parents using (or "helping") their children for personal gain is all too common a story. Too often today parents willingly (though maybe unintentionally) position their children to be their meal ticket one day. The only difference between those parents and the Heenes is that the Heene's plan was intentionally played out on live television (not to mention they lied and violated several local and federal laws). Here are but a few examples of how some parents willingly capitalize on their children's interests/talents:

  • One of America's biggest examples: Sports! Practice 4-6 days a week, games, hired "specialist" coaches, sports camps, trainers, gym memberships, etc. Sure, the kids like the sports, but at the heart of most of the kids, the desire to succeed is from the dreams and wishes of the parents - in other words, they want to make mom and dad proud.

  • Beauty pageants. Fake eyelashes, fake hair (extensions or what-have-you), tanning, makeup, posture classes, personal trainers, personal beauty coaches, "healthy diets," constant pageants, talent classes (music, dance, singing, twirling, gymnastics or whatever), etc.

  • Acting. Acting camps/classes, theater groups, constant auditions, "studying" (obsessing) about current Hollywood culture, dance classes, music classes, personal acting coaches, personal trainers, etc.

  • Academic achievements. Personal tutors, excessive standards for grades ("nothing less than an 'A'"), special academic clubs, extra long homework sessions, extra trips to the library, additional assignments not given in school, pressure to apply to the Ivy League schools, etc.

The list could go on, but you get the idea. Unfortunately, this is too common a story in the lives of many parents. They consider themselves good parents for investing so much time and money in their child, but motivationally one must wonder who all the work and accolades are really for. This is not to say the parents are bad parents, either... just misguided. Instead of nurturing and guiding a child's desires or interests, they go overboard with ridiculous standards and push their own agendas, dreams or desires (maybe well-intentioned dreams for their children) on to their children.

I have no doubt that for the bulk of the parents who become part of this world that their chief desire is to provide the best life and future for their children. I believe they sincerely love their children, the Heenes included, and only want to provide the best for their present and future. However, I think ALL parents would be wise to reevaluate the future they desire for their children: what does that future look like? Is it what is really best for my children? What must we sacrifice to achieve that? Do we sacrifice too much and lose who we are as a family in the process?

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds." (Matthew 16:26-27)

Sports, acting, studying/learning, etc. are not evil endeavors. Matter of fact there is great value in many of those pursuits; however, there is a line we must draw. When they become so important that they become the top priority of our lives (evidenced by how we spend our time, money or resources) we must stop and reconsider our priorities. Have these endeavors replaced God in our lives or worship? Have we redefined who we are (or lead our children to define themselves) based on these achievements? Have these endeavors become idols? Checkout my post on this very common issue (in all of our lives!):
"Turns Out Our Hearts Are Idol Factories".

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Image credit:
REUTERS/KUSA
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