True Love

Checkout this remarkable story of love, commitment, and loyalty. I pray my wife and I are able to enjoy this type of love story and endure even longer, together.

Click here to read this beautiful story.

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Would You Still Do It?

September is the beginning of a lot of things: new school year, new church year (for some churches), beginning of fall, the start of the NFL season, and the beginning of Fall Television (new seasons and new shows).

Every year there is a new, highly anticipated television series that a network hopes will bring home the bacon via high ratings. Most of the new shows flounder (such as one of my favorites that only got one season - "Kings"). This September is no different, with a slew of new shows slated to begin in the next couple weeks. One show in particular that has caught my eye is a new one on ABC called Flashforward.

In the show, the world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and when they come to many (or all?) got a glimpse of their future and are trying to figure out (1) how their lives got to that point, (2) what caused the blackout. One part in the preview that caught my attention was a woman saying she saw herself with another man, who was not her husband. Watch the preview:



The idea, the suspense, the plot and characters have me intrigued, but the very brief scene with the woman has my mind racing... would we, if could see the consequences of our choices (or evaluate them in light of present joy or standards), would we still follow through with it? Would we, like the woman, be brokenhearted (even before it happens)? Would we work to prevent it from happening?

As my mind stirs about this, Paul's struggle with his sin and his love for God are in the back of my mind. In particular, the part where he says "when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong" (read about his struggle in Romans 7:14-25). Or the part in Corinthians where Paul reminds believers that we have a choice in pursuing our sinful desires or running from them and toward God (1 Cor. 10:13).

I have no idea what the series has in store or whether or not it is going to be a good piece to discuss sin and consequences, but thus far it certainly catches my attention.

PARENTS: Shows like this that portray sin and consequences are GREAT opportunities to discuss the power of our choices. It is a prime opportunity to discuss choices and their consequences from Scripture (both good and bad): Adam and Eve, Joseph and Potipher's wife, David and Bathsheba, King Asa, Ecclesiastes (Solomon lamenting "chasing the wind"), Peter denying Christ, temptation gives birth to sin which eventually gives birth to death (costs more than we bargained for - James 1:14-15), etc.

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"Religion is for Weak People"

EDITORIAL NOTE: Thank you for your patience, but I've taken an unannounced vacation the last two weeks from blogging due to my pastoral and personal schedule. I'm back now, though, and hope to be submitting daily posts again.

"Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers." (Jesse Ventura, former Governor of Minnesota)

This now famous/infamous line spoken by "The Gov" received much air time from the media in trying to stir the religious debate pot for ratings. Usually following the airing of the comment they'd host panels to discuss the controversial comment and invite religious people, atheists, authors, pastors, etc. in to "discuss" the comment in relation to politics, life and eternity.

While this quote is old news, what it represents is very relevant today still and will be until Christ returns.

Like Ventura, many claim religion is for weak-minded, poor, oppressed, or lonely people. Strong-minded, wealthy, powerful, famous/popular, and/or healthy people, however, have little to no need for God. Why would they? They are the makers of their own destiny. They are their own authorities. They are the authors of their own morals and ethics. They are their own creators (they create their own religions at will). Consequently, they are their own God.

Powerful people need no God (nor do they want one) because they are their own God and for them to answer to a deity higher than them would require an ounce of humility, need and emptiness. Today's culture decries need or brokenness as weakness. The reality of these attributes is that they remind of us of our place (we are not God... we are not all-knowing, all powerful, infinite, holy, eternal or ceaselessly creative) and our need for the infinite God of all.

James 4:7-10 tells us that we will spend our lives doing one of two things: (1) SUBMITTING to God, or (2) trying to BE GOD. Based on the Biblical description of who God is, it is a logical fallacy to think there can be more than one God (or someone equal to Him). Powerful people, though, have no need for this God to save them or aid them (that is, of course, until something happens in their life that leaves them broken beyond words - such as loss of family/friends, tragedy, etc.) and no need to worship God because their attention, drive, motivation, desire and hope is all directed in one direction: themselves.

PARENTS: Do your lives represent one that is bent toward God or bent toward being your own God? One that not only talks about having a need for God to save you, but that demonstrates a lifelong allegiance to this One, True God? Our children and teens find brokenness and need a lot more appealing when they see humility lived out before them.

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What Pours From Your Heart?

What do you love the most? Who do you love the most?

I have heard various statements about determining the true affections of our lives...

• Check your bank account - where the bulk of your money goes is where your heart truly is
• Check the account of your life - where the bulk of your time goes is where your heart truly is

While neither of these are foolproof or infallible tests to determine one's true affections, there is something to be said for a VISIBLE faith! People who truly love God are unmistakable. Few question those people's true motivations or heart and they are truly a delight to be around. For other believers (and even non-believers) they are a breath of fresh air!

While I have never met the following gentleman (Joshua Cho) in person (college student I think) I stumbled across him and some friends on You Tube singing a cover of Geoff Moore/Steven Curtis Chapman song "Listen to Our Hearts" and... wow! Check it out:



Again, I know very little bit about him or his friends, but based on his personal you tube profile (also a refreshing and seemingly genuine outpouring of love for God), the collection of songs he sings and shares with others publicly online, and his online conduct and comments (both his and those directed to him) it would seem as though he is a young man with an honest desire to love God with all his heart, mind and soul. Luke 6:45 says that "out of the abundance (overflowing) our mouth speaks" (or live our lives); Joshua's outpouring (and maybe even that of his friends') indicates a heart truly bent toward loving God. What about yours?

If you liked the video/song you can listen or download it (and others from Joshua Cho) free here.

Want to see more videos from Joshua? Visit his You Tube page here.

Parents: Our #1 job as parents is not to teach kids how to establish a religious routine, live life according to a vain morality or empty religious practices (to include going to church just to go). Our calling is to teach them how to "love the Lord with all their hearts, minds and souls." Translation: to love God in every part of their life, public and private, and to desire Him more than anything else. The best lessons, however, are not the ones we teach with our lips but the ones we live. What pours from your heart? If your kids were asked what you loved the most (other than them as a family), what would they say? It's never too late! But it's definitely time to start somewhere!

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Culture and Your Teen/Child (From Focus on the Family and CPYU)

The following article is a dialogue between the folks at Focus on the Family's Plugged In and CPYU's (Center for Parent/Youth Understanding) founder Walt Mueller. This is a great read for parents regarding cultural influences and your teen (or children). Featured in the article: #1 Thread in Most Teens' Lives, Mass Media Use, What Is the Biggest Influence in a Teen's Life in Today's World (not surprising, but also not what you might have expected as an answer), and more! GREAT READ... check it out! (This article was written by Adam R. Holz and originally appeared on the site for Plugged In.)
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There are probably very few people on planet Earth who spend as much time thinking about popular culture's influence on young people as Walt Mueller. For more than 30 years, Mueller has been digging deep into how our society's stars and scandals and trends shape the values and behaviors of teens and tweens—and on how parents and children can connect meaningfully during this sometimes tumultuous season of life.

"There is a widening cultural-generational gap that needs to be closed," Mueller notes. "On one side stand parents and adults, many puzzled and scared by the rapidly changing world of children and teens. ... On the other side stand children and teens longing for parents and other significant adults willing and able to help them through the confusing maze of today's youth culture, leading them to an emotionally and spiritually healthy adulthood. I'm convinced it's a gap nobody wants."

To help close that gap, Mueller founded the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding in 1990. He's also written seven books on the subject, including Understanding Today's Youth Culture, Youth Culture 101 and his latest, The Space Between: A Parent's Guide to Teenage Development.

Adam R. Holz: What trends are most influencing teenagers in 2009?

Walt Mueller: A lot of times we look for behaviors—you know, how many kids are doing this, how many kids are doing that, who is sexually active, who isn't. But what I have tried to do lately is to dig a little deeper, to peel back the layers to look at the matters of the heart. Because it's the heart that influences all those other things. As I and those I work with at CPYU have done that, one thing that we've seen more than anything else recently is a single thread woven through the fabric of kids' lives and youth culture: the thread of narcissism.

Narcissism involves a constant obsession with self which really, at its root, is idolatry. It's replacement of the Creator with the created thing—the created thing in this case being the self. And narcissism is about having everything in life focused in service of self and the glory of self rather than bringing honor and glory to God.

Related to that is materialism. When we moved out of the '80s into the early '90s, some commentators were writing about the fact that the so-called "me" decade was over with, along with the rampant materialism that came with it. But that has absolutely not been the case. Materialism still runs deep and wide, and I think it's more ingrained now in the lives of young people and adults than it's ever been.

Holz: How do you think the social networking revolution, as well as mobile communication such as texting and tweeting, are impacting how young people relate to each other?

Mueller: Today's kids have a greater ability to communicate with other people than any other previous generation. You can stay connected 24/7. That can be a great thing in terms safety, in terms of parents communicating with their children. And I think the church is learning how to harness these technologies to help spread the gospel as well. At the same time—and I think research is beginning to show this—it's easier now for people to retreat into physical aloneness. The great irony is that, while this is the generation that has the greatest number of tools to stay relationally connected, they are also one of the loneliest and most isolated generations ever. For many of these kids, when you finally shut everything down, they don't know how to live in the silence and listen to God. And I think it can affect their relationships in some bad ways.

But I would never say that these technologies are an evil thing. I have always encouraged parents and youth workers to see all that stuff as a neutral—a cell phone is a neutral thing, an iPod is a neutral thing, Facebook is a neutral thing—but it depends on how we are using it. Are we using these things to serve the kingdom of the world, the flesh and the devil? Or are we using them to serve and build the kingdom of God? If we become consumed by these things, it can really hurt us deeply. Many people think the answer is to get rid of the technologies when in fact what we have to do is manage them in ways that are healthy and positive and bring honor and glory to God.

Holz: In a world where kids have so many media and entertainment options, do you think popular music is as significant a shaping force as it might have been for previous generations?

Mueller: I would have to say no. I grew up in the late '60s and '70s, and music, for the most part, was it. It was music and television. In the '80s, it was music television. But MTV isn't even about music anymore. What we see now is a shift in which the media world has just exploded in both platforms and types of media. Thanks to social networking sites like MySpace, there are more outlets for music than ever. Kids' tastes have become a lot more unique

Holz: And fragmented?

Mueller: Very fragmented. And so, as a result, you don't have that large, overarching music scene or artists whose albums everyone is buying and listening to. Take Michael Jackson, for example. We just don't have megastars like him anymore.

Holz: Do you think anything has eclipsed music in terms of cultural influence?

Mueller: I would say marketing. Product placement is in everything these days: music, movies, TV. When that's combined with the narcissism and materialism we've already talked about, it's a formidable force. Today's kids have significant disposable income, which is one of the reasons that the youth culture is the most targeted market segment of all. So marketing is the greatest influence because it really is shaping young people's values, attitudes and behaviors.

Holz: How do you think marketing shapes more than just our decisions to buy this or that?

Mueller: The average person sees between 3,500 and 7,000 marketing messages a day. None of us are going to buy all those products—not that day, that week or even in our lifetime. But we will have ingested marketing messages that sell a certain way of looking at life. In that sense, advertisements don't just sell products. They sell a worldview, a way of thinking about life and living life. Especially when it comes to young people, it's this constant barrage of ads that's shaping who they are. These days, I spend a lot more time than I used to telling parents to monitor marketing and helping parents talk to their kids about how to ask good questions about marketing. We have to help our kids learn to manage the world's constant marketing messages so that the marketing doesn't manage them.

Holz: What would you say is the best approach for parents to use in helping their teens navigate this world, and what is the balance between protection and avoidance?

Mueller: Navigating and protection—that is always a precarious balance to strike. We want things to be easy. I have been raised, we have all been raised, in a world where you push a button or you take a pill and everything is fixed. But it's not that easy. Kids have hearts and minds of their own, we can't drag them screaming and kicking into God's kingdom. So now what I have to do as a parent is discern where each of them is at. I have four kids of my own. And each one of them is very different. Because of that, they may need different boundaries, different parameters to both equip and protect them. That means I have to be constantly observing and listening to my kids. So, along with my wife, I have to know the world they live in and begin to try to figure out how each child is going to respond to the influences we see there.

Holz: What has that process looked like in your family?

Mueller: As a parent, you always have to look in the mirror first. You've got to know yourself. And if we hope to know ourselves well, we have to be washing and bathing ourselves in God's Word all the time. I often say that if we want to point our kids in the right direction, we have to have the truth coursing through our own veins. Jesus said that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. It has to be that way for us to speak truth and for that to flow out of our lives as well. From that foundation, we can begin to talk to our kids about making good choices, seizing every opportunity to teach that we encounter with them.

For example, when my oldest son, Josh, who is now 23, was entering his teen years, he came to me and said, "I heard this great band today, Dad. A friend of mine played this song, and I wonder if I can get the CD?" I asked him what the band was, and it was Green Day. Rather than react negatively, I asked, "What song did you like?" After he told me, I said, "You know, Josh, that song is actually about—and this may embarrass you—but it's about masturbation." He said, "Really?" So I said, "Let me give you something to read on this band. When you're done, let me know what you think. He read the article, and he was old enough to work through it and come to the conclusion that he didn't think he should be listening to that band. So instead of just saying no, I gave him parameters that encouraged him to engage and think critically for himself. And then we talked about it.

I believe that process is key when your kids come to you with an interest. If they express interest in something that you know isn't good or positive, don't overreact. Rather, respond calmly. Think with them and calmly walk through this process with them. They don't naturally know how to do that on their own; it's not inherent in who they are. We had to learn that process too, and now we have to teach it to them.

So remember that your kids are in process and this is going to take some time. Sometimes they will buck the system in terms of what you are trying to teach them. But don't lose sleep over it. Continue to pray for them and continue to walk them through it and talk them through it because that, I believe, is what leads to lasting heart change, not just compliant behavior.

Holz: What would you say to parents who feel overwhelmed by the speed at which the culture in changing and the ways new media and technology are influencing their kids?

Mueller: Well, first, I would say that I understand. I would also say that God has given us a wonderful opportunity by allowing us to live today to shape the way our generation and younger generations respond to these challenges.

In His incarnation, we see that Jesus was a particular man sent by God to a particular place at a particular time with a particular mission. It's the same for us. We are not here by accident. It is by design. We are particular people called by God to be at this particular place in this particular time to deal with these particular things.

Given those truths, we do well to remember that God hasn't called us to live with a spirit of fear. If we believe in God's sovereignty, we'll be biblically concerned and respond realistically rather than having an alarmist pessimism that forces us to separate from the world. Ultimately, being ruled by fear of what's happening around us isn't going to help anything. Yes, there are going to be things we have to say no to and walk away from. Sometimes, we do have to think for our kids and work to steer them in another direction. That is a responsibility God has given us as parents.

But I always tell parents, never forget that one of the great joys of parenting is that God parents you while you parent your kids. If you were to graph your life struggles and graph out the growth points, the greatest growth often takes place in times of confusion, frustration and suffering. You see that when you look in the rearview mirror. So embrace the opportunities.

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"Please - Humiliate Me, Insult My Wife and Mock My Faith!"

It is said that life is too short and that we ought to learn to laugh a little - to include laughing at ourselves a bit, so as not to take life too seriously. However, is there a line in the sand, so-to-speak? A point where instead of laughing at our own shortcomings, we become the proverbial "butt of the joke" and the target for public mockery?

This is the reality of shows like South Park, The Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons and The Cleveland Show (Fall 2009). Instead of using shows to make insightful observations about culture and life in general, they are vehicles for absolute mockery. They respect nothing and all subjects are open for "laughs" (to include abortion, though Fox wisely opted against airing The Family Guy abortion episode).

Over the last couple weeks I've been discussing worldview in film (peppered with a little TV) with my teenagers in church and last week The Family Guy (just nominated for an Emmy) was brought up several times with a couple students doing their best impression of the characters from the show. I asked them who had seen at least one episode and all students raised their hands. I then asked how many watched it regularly and about half the hands stayed up. One student quickly said "I know I probably shouldn't like it because they make fun of God, like when He hits on girls and stuff, but I can't help it. It's so funny!"

So then I asked how they would like it if some random stranger broke in to their home and trashed the things they value the most. They all responded as one would expect - they wouldn't like it. Then I said - how is what you are doing when you watch that show any different?

Every night you willingly open your door to a stranger to come in to your life and mock, belittle and ultimately trash everything you supposedly value the most: family (no, the "Family" Guy is not a show about promoting family), real friendships, and above all, God! If someone were to literally bash your life publicly on a stage in front of a crowded stadium of people there is no way you'd stay for them keep doing it - you'd walk out. So why do we keep doing it in this instance?

PARENTS: Again, I am not a fan of censorship; however, it is our job to help our teens see exactly what these educators (television, film, music, and the arts: the #1 philosophy teachers of our day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) are telling your kids (and us as adults) to believe. Yes, there is value in some self-directed laughter (and even some things in religion that are laughable), but when our families, marriages, and our faith become a public mockery - we should not be part of the laughing audience.

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College Majors and God: Do Students' Fields of Study Influence Their Faith?

I received this article via the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (great organization that, like this blog, seeks to build strong families by bridging the cultural gap between parents and teens) about whether or not what a student majors in in school has any affect on their faith. This is a very interesting article (a MUST READ for parents and teens!)!! Honestly, the findings of the study are not surprising at all (which is why this blog exists and I am in youth ministry)!

Read the article here: God and Majors.

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Image borrowed from Spectra.
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TSA Takes Toys from an 8 Year Old Boy/Russian Airline Wants Hot Flight Attendents: A C2 Response

RUSSIAN AIRLINE GOES SEXY

According to an online report, Russian Airlines company Aeroflot plans to upgrade their flight attendants by hiring "very striking, very eye-catching girls" to serve passengers on their planes. Of course they also plan several other changes as well (uniforms, aircraft changes, customer service, etc.), but a key component of the changes will be in their personnel.

Though I've never flown this airline before, I do fly semi-regularly (a couple times a year). I could care less about what the women who serve me look like. What I could go for, however, is a little better service (or maybe a lot better service). Service on airlines is starting to resemble Walmart: get in, get what little bit you're promised and not a smile or ounce of effort more, then get out! "Thanks for flying "[fill in popular airline company here]!"

To Aeroflot, a few questions:

• How do you plan to measure the hottness/sexiness of your potential Stewardesses?

• Will there be added financial incentives to women who work hard to keep up their appearances (working out) or add to them (such as through cosmetic surgery or botox)?

• Will you offer refunds if passengers aren't pleased with the quality of their eye candy while on board?

• As executives, are you pleased to know that men boarding your planes are encouraged by your company to gawk at and enjoy the scenery that is your female employees?

• Last one - just to be clear - I assume you will hold your employees accountable for sexual harassment in the workplace, but will encourage it from your passengers?

So the moral of your company's story is: hot women = better bottom lines (all puns intended) and a better standard for customer service? Friendly skies indeed.

TSA Takes Toys From an 8 Year Old Boy

Let's get a couple things out of the way, first.

• I am a HUGE Disney fan (my wife and I are, both, former Cast Members/Employees and love visiting their parks - though because of cost have only been able to go once in 13 years).

• I generally support the TSA, despite all the annoyances that comes with removing everything down to my shoes just to board a plane (even more annoying when I have to do the same for my kids). I also don't like the 3-D X-Ray machine and don't like being treated rudely by a select few; however, in general most are wonderful and do the best they can to make an annoying situation as comfortable as possible.

My response is less toward the TSA and more toward another blogger (Scott Carmichael) who, while well intentioned, misses the mark in his article regarding the situation. To sum it up, a young boy went to Disney World with his family as a way of coping with the loss of his father to cancer (to that family - my heart breaks for you). On their return trip home, the TSA agents in Ft. Lauderdale confiscated a few toys he planned to carry on to the plane (one being a Pirates of the Carribean sword and the other a toy gun); Disney replaced the toys after hearing about this incident (see why we love Disney!). To add insult to injury, after the agent(s) confiscated the toys they apparently turned around and played with them in front of the boy. According to the TSA's policies (posted in all U.S. airports and online) no weapons or anything resembling a weapon may be brought on to a plane (Mr. Carmichael references these policies in his article).

I understand Mr. Carmichael's view (that the toys were obviously toys, the boy is obviously a boy who was playing with these toys - not a terrorist, and he is also a boy grieving the unbelievable loss of his father); I do not fault him for his view - I even sympathize with it. I simply write to state that in the age we live in, terrorists use anything to harm the innocent (hence the reason they train children to carry bombs). It probably was quite obvious to the TSA agents that this was a normal boy with souvenirs, but their policies do not allow them to make judgment calls (especially when the rules are clear).

This is something I went through personally... a few years back I was in Atlanta on business and decided to buy my then 3 year old son a mini souvenir Braves' bat (wood) to hang on his wall. At the last minute as I was walking out of my hotel room I saw that I forgot to pack the bat and, not thinking about it, I put it in my carry on bag. As I went through TSA Security they removed the bat and told me I could: (1) go back to the counter and ask to put it in my already checked bag (don't know how that would have happened considering my bag was well on its way to the plane, but it was an option), (2) throw it away myself, or (3) turn it over to the TSA agent. Reluctant to do any of them, I turned it over as it was the easiest of the three options. As the TSA agent turned her back with my son's (former) bat in hand, she announced to another agent "look what I got for my grandson!" Yes, that was tactless and mean for her to say, especially seeing how badly I wanted to keep that bat and give it to my son (and yes I was enraged sitting on the plane the whole way home); however, the rules were posted and it was my fault for failing to check the bat with my baggage.

The mom or family in this situation was probably like me - just not thinking. They let the boy bring the toys as a way of clinging a little longer to the trip, putting off the reality of the empty home that awaited him. Thankfully, again, this story had a happy ending since Disney replaced the boy's toys (even though they had no reason or obligation to do so - good job Disney!).

For Mr. Carmichael, I understand your frustration (as I share it, too), but to attack the TSA for doing their jobs (thinking of security when we obviously do not and making sure our planes are safe) is an error. Yes, it was hurtful that the agents carelessly began playing with toys in front of the boy - so call them out for that. Do not call them out for lacking "common sense [at the] checkpoint" when there is no ambiguity in their policies. Their decision was not only smart, but the ethical and responsible thing to do (they have to have the same standard across the board - whether it be Ft. Lauderdale, Atlanta, Dallas, Tucson or LAX). Instead, praise their conduct in performing their job duties, but call them out (or the agents responsible) for their gross lack of decency in that situation.

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Photo borrowed from DanialMartin
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